For the first time in four years Mapombi dreamt about the future of this country once again. The last dream I had was few months before the November 2017 coup. O-oh nhasi zvangu nana mukoma zvandichapfekedzwa Apolo-jersey saKudzai Chipanga kkkkkkk. Asi politics so! Anyway, I meant the military assisted takeover that diposed Cde Mugabe, and of course our one and only Dr Amai.
Honestly speaking I really miss Dr Amai Grace Mugabe aka Dr Stop it. As we are busy celebrating International Women’s Day, we must be celebrating women like Dr Amai – she was one of a kind kkkkkkk. Big men such as Ignatius Chombo would kneel down before her whilst others would brand their motor vehicles with her pictures captioned Munhu Wese kuna Amai. Even vana Philip Chiyangwa vekuzvida nekuti vakamboita tumari kudhara vakanga vava kungoimbawo kuti munhu wese kuna Amai kkkkkk. That’s how powerful Dr Amai was then. I think her biggest blunder was when she threatened and challenged vana Kedha kuti huyai mundipfure kana kundiuraya kana muchida while she was addressing one of the famous youths rallies. Kedha and the other Cdes reacted swiftly and disposed uncle Bob ndokusiya Grace ava pamhene chaipo.
Eish, Dr Amai is making me diverting from my initial issue. But of course before I go back to my dream last night allow me to say Happy Women’s Day to my fellow women. Inini Mapombi nditori gamba chairo and I deserve to be buried at the national heroes’ acre because I have done a lot for this country. To be more blunt, I died for this country kkkkkkkk. Vakomana musatamba nekurarama uchigara at Chitima Market surviving on maputi and rotten bananas. How many of you will be able to survive even for a day under such horrible and filfthy environment like Chitima market where we eat while seated next to human waste? Can Mthuli be able to do that? Or Auxillia chaiye angazvikwanisa here ndiye anombonyepera tutsika twenhema kupfugamira imbwa nekitsi dzekumamisha uko kuri kuedza kuda kubata vanhu kumeso. Let Mapombi tell you guys, Auxillia is another mental case chaiyo and she is another Grace yet to manifest asi isu zvedu tinoshandiswa nemweya waMwari tinenge tatooneswa zvedu kuti nyika ichapinda dambudziko namai ava. Let me zip my mouth because I heard she is ruthless zvekuti ndikanzwika ndinoswera ndinwiswa maSewage zvangu, but chete ini ndakafa kare I don’t even care! You can come and kill me kana shungu kkkkkkk.
But on a serious note the dream I had last night is worrying me. I have mixed feelings – should I celebrate or cry? Honestly I don’t know because the last time takafarira n’anga yakadzoka yobata amai. Yes, the whole country was in cloud nine except for a few of us inini nana mukoma Jealousy Mawarire and the G40 cabal tisu takanga takangosunga zviso but the rest were ululating kuti chaenda chimudhara chekwaZvimba, baba Chatunga.
Of course uncle Bob had overstayed his welcome but I was totally against the way he was pushed out of office. But now that he is gone and he went that way ndava kungotiwo ngoma ndiyo ndiyo ini chero uripo iyeyu kana muchida kungomuendesa the same way bva ngaabaye. It’s no longer a secret that ED has failed. In fact I knew him as a failure since I was in my mother’s womb. Those who support him and vow to die for him can you tell me one thing that ED done for the benefit of ordinary people? Either as minister, vice president or President? Haiwavo tibvirei po ndiyani arikuti akagadzira migwagwa nemadhamu uyo? Tikwanire! Isu vana Mapombi tinodya migwagwa kana madhamu here isu? I don’t even have a car neither do I dream to buy so why should I celebrate construction of roads or dams? Even teachers whom Mthuli said they can now buy cars duty free are still roving around netsoka or is it called tsokorola? Kkkkkk but zvinoita Mthuli so. But Mapombi is not surprised because ndakangochitarisa chimurume chiya ndinoona senge dzisina kuti kwesere ini. I think that whole ministry yakasekwa chaiko ini; even the deputy minister wacho uyu Chiduwa haaaaa kkkkkkkkkk haaa zvakaoma chaiko chiregai ndisunge wangu muromo kuti shweee otherwise I will need a day and half just to talk about these not so intelligent Cdes.
My point is that Cde ED has failed and its now clear for everyone to see. Remember Mapombi once said this about Mugabe before anyone dared to say so. Before even vana Mutsvangwa, Mahiya and Mr Ibhu Matemadanda vamboti bufu. By the way, where is Mr Ibhu these days? kuMozambique kuChimoio kkkkkkkkk. This is one thing ED has failed to manage – ane chinya sechegurwe kuti rikangotsamwa rotozvitashura dumbu. Each time ED gets infuriated he acts very quickly and we all know what happened to Mr Ibhu, General Rugeje, Kembo and Mudha Ncube recently. But all this is not helping the economy in anyway. Ordinary people want a stable currency, not capital projects hatidyi izvozvo isu. Fuel price will soon be US$2 per litre yet munhu is busy kungoti Bhustiwai kuti bhu bhu bhu bhu – aaaah nhai nhai vakomana hazvisetse izvi.
But if what I dreamt about yesterday comes to pass then haaa makata anoshura mawere. My fellow Zimbabweans, kana ndichishaura mabatai manzwi kuitira mangwana. Let me explain the dream and tell you zvandakarota zvese. I know some of you will be quick to dismiss vachiti mupengo but don’t forget vamwe vakaudzwa hondo nemurwere wepfungwa.
Anyway, let me have my lunch first and then tell you about the dream. Don’t worry my lunch is not like that of vana Mthuli ka inotanga nema Starter, main meal then dissert – yangu its just maputi nemabanana akaora ndotonwa zvangu yemaMucheke River ine maSewer iyoyo kkkkkk kuramba guva huona jena. But do you know that I am a whole graduate who graduated with a book prize? I have a distinction but I am stark here at Chitima market thanks to Zanu PF. My father abandoned school and went to war to make sure that Zimbabwe is independent. Is this what you died for my father? Anyway, let me eat my maputi and rotten bananas zvangu but chingoma kana choririsa chava pedyo nekubvaruka. O-oh ndopika naKedha kudai. Skilled Rebhara will not tolerate this for too long handiti you know the man is very impatient? Yes, Kedha is very impatient I saw it in the dream guys and pandichakuudzai hope idzodzo you will all agree with me.
By the way, I heard Dr Khupe is very active on tweeter these days talking about the citizens kkkkkkk haaaa zvakaoma. Khupe chaiye now knows about the citizens. And you all know what Nero is going to say, right? ‘Chenga ose manhanga hapana risina mudzi.’ Kkkkkkk nhai mwana waBambo vangu listen and listen very carefully, kwedu uko twakazara tuma nhanga tusina modzi and hatunake ukada kutudya. Im sure those who understand Shona you hear me, loud and clear. I have nothing against Khupe but I am a very principled woman. Thabita Khumalo said over my dead body, and mapombi is also saying over my dead body. So Nero let this sink in your head, kana uchida zvaKhupe enda naye kumba kwako not to bring her to the citizens. I know uri musorobhangu nguva zhinji asi apa kana uchida kuona kuti chidyamatovo anodzipiwa neganda remhuru chete try to accept Khupe back. Let her go and join Dougie – if she has 45k supporters I can bet I will make sure that 50k youths get registered to vote so that I cover the number she wants to bring. I have said too much today so let’s meet next week then I will start with the dream that I had. But ED reminds me of Mphoko guys kkkkkk Mboko imboko!
ED has failed, Cdes
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