Elections that never were

Ladies and gentlemen Mapombi is a bit disappointed by happenings in the political arena in this teapot country of ours. News of elections had lightened my mood because ndanga ndine svihope svekuti ndopatinodyirawo mari dzenyika because team iri kana richicampaigner haa tinodya nekumwa.Now that Chamisa has declared that his CCC will not participate in the elections, zvadhakwa. Oti maCCC acho awandazve nekuti Chavangu arikumhanya nacho chimuti with the blessings of we know who. I’m told he has even threatened Chamisa that if mukomana dares him, he will make Bulawayo a no go area for him. Hehedee, seka hako Mapombi. Hanzi Chavangu is even crying foul hanzi Chamisa betrayed him. I bet he will know the true meaning of betrayal soon as all provinces seem to be agreeing naNero on boycotting the December 9 elections. Zvinhu zvacho so zvinosetsa nembavha yakavanda. Manje hanzi Nero is saying pamberi nekuramwira gudo munda, kkkkk. Munda wacho rangova gura iri hapana nechichabudapo, kutambisa mufudze haiwawo. I wonder what 2024 will be for many of us, especially with how the economy is economing, kkkk. Zanu has managed to show that they can wring and rinse the law to their own pleasures. Paya pavanenge vachiti politics is a dirty game ndozvavanenge vachireva izvozvi. Dai simba rinoiswa neZanu mupoliticking and power grabbing riri iro ravanoisa in fixing the econmy deno tichidya rifa chaiko, kumwa tea nenyama every day. Mapombi once said these people will be cursed by history because moyo yavo yakaoma.
Shuwa shuwa kunakura Shanty two minutes after she got mayorship, musadaro imi. We were starting to get used to her wearing that red gown nechihat chekupenga chiya cheblack chinoita senge chaAjigija kkkk. When she officiated kuAgricultural show, I think she even made those clowns jealous kuti tava kutorerwa basa. Ndikafunga kuti in one of ED’s statements soon after elections, even kuinauguration uko he said now is the time to build our country and put politics aside nezviri kuitika izvi that’s when you see how chameleonic politicians can be. Who knew that we will be in this position right now? Mapombi can bet that the whole country is in a state of numbness, with a sprinkle of disappointment because the signal they were waiting for from Nero never came. Haisi kutozouya maface angu and I suggest for now verengai maverse iwayo nemaquotes aSun Tzu sezvarebwa nomukomana. Zviri zvestability munyika munomu, mmm, it’s becoming elusive. Mapombi is also reliably informed that Zanu wants to force some consensus between itself and opposition, which we all know will never happen because chakatanga ndochakachenjedza. I heard Chavangu has hired lawyer vaya vekunyisa wedu Fulcrum and Pith Thabani gore riya for his November 2 court case, and the same lawyer ndowaED iyeye. Mai vechidhoma vanozongobuda kani mukapfungaidza, kkkk. But Chavangu wee, let me warn you; if you eat in the same plate with the devil, better have a long spoon. Imhandu vanhu ava. Anyway, kana munhu ada power ungamuita sei? Vamwe vanotorirombera I tell you, vamwe vachienda kunana Papa kunoannointwa. I hope you all remember ladies and gentlemen kuti vekudonha kwaGutu musi uno vaKembo was prophesied by Bushiri some years ago that he will become President. Video racho rakasvika nekwedu kwaChirimudombo vashoma vasina kuriona. I bet he still believes the prophesy is yet to be fulfilled. Jenarari Chandaiziment no nhanzvi, haa zvinhu zvacho so. He seemed to be some steps ahead during the delimitation reports commotion but zvakazongoti tsvatata, ndiye zii. We all thought he was working in cahoots with Muchanyara, ko zvakazodiikowo? Kubva zvavakangoroora colonel Miniyothabo he has been lying low, and I hope she is not a project as well. The man is not so lucky with mjolo, kkkk. But vese zvavo, none of them has a good record when it comes to marriages and families. Nyangwe ikoko chaiko kumusoro ikoko hanzi zvakangorema, but Mapombi will not say much, ndoswera ndakuseva nemunyu tapedza totamba nhodo naNgarivhume kujere. Mapombi is perpetually saddened by Sikhala’s incarceration. Hamusati mamupfidzisa kusvika parere moyo yenyu here nhai vanhuwee? I know hangu Zanu is heartless, but chero iwo mamagistrate nemajudge, conscience dzenyu hadzisati dzakuzevezeraiwo kuti zvakwana here? That man has suffered, and I cannot begin to imagine how Moreblessing Ali’s family, for whom he was arrested is feeling. They lost their loved one, and when someone else tried to seek justice for them, he was taken away too. I hope one day as you reminisce on these injustices imi vanotonga imi, this case sits heavy on your consciences until you become insane. Zvichakuonaiwo sezvina meso.
But nhai ladies and gentlemen, iwo maSanctions aimarchirwa the other day in many towns across the country munombomanzwisisawo here? Some of the things people say regarding sanctions at these anti-sanctions events are ridiculous. Ko kungorega nhai kana musingazvinzwisisi? Of course it is being heartless of Zanu to gather people to legitimize their call for the removal of sanctions, but imi munoenderei kunomakiswa ikoko? Vatapi venhau will go straight kuna mbuya vako, whom they clearly see has no idea what all this is about vovabvunza, or to your ‘ghetto yut’ brother who thinks they know it all woswera uchinyara hako bhuti vazara muTiktok. On that note, I want to encourage those who have the privilege of having information to share it with their families. It is important that people participate in civic processes vachiziva, so that they are not manipulated. Manje even those vekuOpposition vacho unowana dziridzo shasha dzepropaganda nedisinformation mumaspaces umu. I hope murikuzvinzwa vana Chitando, Wakura newe Struggle Nyahunda, alongside Wezhira Munya. What you are doing is aggravating the information disorder zvokonzera apathy. You remain at the receiving end ndimi futi.
But madzimai mabiyangu musazodaroba. I saw Minister of ICT vachidhomoka zvavo vabvunzwa zveStarlink muparamende. Haa kubuda offside, kuenda dondo chairo, utsi hwehuni nyoro. Sovereignty inopinda pai paaccessibility yemasaisai nhai Tendai Jari? Senyika we are going nowhere very fast, and tirikuita kukanda nhanho. Data tariffs are going up like no man’s business uku minister vari busy kudefender sovereignty nepasipo. Izvozviso kuti vanhu two vaende online for two weeks in a family motoda million nehalf. And don’t get me started neZesa. Before elections taiita kunge tichamachereredza magetsi, now its excuse after excuse muzvitsamba from Zesa. The small small industry we have is going to suffer, and again Zesa yacho inogoti kukaita fault havauyi zvekudaro. Ask Tinashe weNash how difficult it is to run a manufacturing business without stable electricity. The man only took a video addressing his workers, varakashi vakutomuti ndeweopposition. Mukawana nguva mukwane imi handitika. To you everything has to be black or white, politics over everything. Munosvodesa.
I saw Niki Kuswerangwana dancing zvekwaMichael Jackson kumasanctions uko ndikati zvokwadi deno Biden aizviona ainodhingura chiswitch chemasanctions Zanu ikaswera yopemberera. Dai Niki akauya vuno Masvingo akazodzidzisawo Trust Mugabe kutambira masanctions, kkkkk.
For now we only wait for Gutu West by-election but uko rinenge rakatogohwa bhora racho. But again hanzi Mutonho ndiye aidiwa so it may be difficult for kedu mukomana Para. Mutonho akabaya or akabayiswa hatichazivi, but hanzi ndiye aidiwa.
Regai ndinokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch, mazuvano mabanana arikuora stereki so haa ndiripakanaka. Please be safe during this season, mvura yacho iri kuuya ine hasha. Ko nhai saka Mai Mujuru, Dr Gire naBona vakangonyangarika after inauguration? How far divorce yaBona naSimba? Mundiudzewo kana mukawana information. Ko Mphoko dziripikowo? Mboko imboko!