Brace for life in the Mutapa Kingdom cdes

For days now I have been seeing fewer and fewer of my friends who pass through Chitima area using state-funded ‘tsokorollas’ to go home because Chimusana Brige is flooded. I ended up resorting to going to the main bridge kunotsvaga vekuita nyaya navo since they will be stuck in congestion. Even Vene tinenge tinavo mucongestion imomo, because chero mukatonga kusvika madhongi amera nyanga, nature ndibaba venyu vakomana. Climate change yakati kuuya iyi hainei nazvo zvekuti Auxilia arikuda kuyanika mufushwa yake yaanoswerobika nemadzimai kwese kwese. Gore rino zvinopera kuora zvicovo izvozvo. Let me tell you guys, I think we should brace up for ‘long ago’ pachipedo because the rate at which Dr Amai is teaching women kudzudzura mumba nendoveka, mmmm. I used to wonder why she was hell-bent on teaching every woman how to cook traditional food, now it is all making sense. It is all part of the grand plan, to make all citizens comfortable with that kind of life. Vari kubetserana kuti dynasty ibude, and if you think I am lying, just look at how things are in this country. Look at how tarred roads are disappearing. Look at how much makomba enhodo are made right in the middle of roads whenever it rains—and then you see Okidhoki playing nhodo on TV akatoisirwa microphone kuti zvityise, kkkkk. Itai mushe imi. Very soon we won’t be having as many bridges around, takuita zviya zvekuridza ngoma or kuvesa moto to send messages. Just look at how we are being trained to live without electricity, relying on firewood. Women vekumahigh density now go kunotsvaga huni kuzvisango, and I don’t know how they are surviving nekunaya uku. We are right on our way back to the Munhumutapa era ladies and gentlemen. The Gota-Nhanga madness is all part of the bigger plan macdes. It’s not coincidence that we are now so used to bottom-of-the pit treatment by ED’s administration, kutonormalizer kutozivana paden kuti uyo nhingi uyo akuenda kutoilet kunoita number 2 including baba vemba, because you see nekutongotakura bucket remvura kuti shasha yapresswa, kkkk. In Zimbabwe it’s not normal kungoflasher flasher toilet ka. We are going back ladies and gentlemen kumabush toilets whether you like it or not. I told you in the last instalment kuti one-party state pfee, and hatisi kugumira ipapo. Kutozviti Munhumutapa iko kuya is befitting of where this family wants to take us. What Mugabe didn’t do, ED will did it. Where Bhobho ran, ED will walk. Zvemareferenda which were budgeted for naMthuli in his 2025 budget zvichingopera chatochaya. Nero can shout and bark all he wants but Tshabangu put the final nail in the coffin of opposition politics in this country. Pepepe dhuu chikomana, enda hako unopfeka helmet uchifudza mombe kwaChiwara, probability of you fooling people twice is zero percent. Pachirungu tirikuti fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me! Hapachina chenyu baba. On top of kulumiswa 10million nemusangano weVene, vanhu ava could be related by blood futi, pachitongoitwa chaibva mumba sekuru nemuzukuru tichipusiswa. Mukomana wenyu iyeye could be part of the 2030 agenda achidya zvake anyerere paukama. Also remember, the way the 2030 agenda is being pushed shows you that varikutochida, they won’t stop at anything, and the bootlickers this time have been given a playground. Tichanzwa zvese zvese I tell you, even Webster Shamhu and Kudzai Chipanga will be green with envy at the level of bootlicking some can do. Even Mphoko will be turning in his grave, varume nevakadzi vakuru vachinanzva zvavo. To top it off, My Son Icarus is rewarding the madness, nevasina vachipihwawo mukana wekukumbira, imi woye. What we used to call ‘once upon a time’ is coming back ladies and gentlemen. MaGen Z marangarirwa, you have been given the chance to experience life first hand in a kingdom. Genarari manje njuga dzinogona kurema since Ngwena now has the support of the opposition. There is no way Tshabangu could deliver that speech without the blessing of his cronies kuopposition kwavo ikoko. Those people are a greedy lot. Zanu caught on, kuti these people can be bought with a few pennies, so everything whether constitutional or unconstitutional is going to be a walk in the park for Vene. Vakati garei garei vonobikirwa mabiko kuPrecabe Farm and get mavisi for dessert, ndozvoga zvinongofungwa. It was taboo for opposition politicians to eat anything in the presence of Zanu during Tsvangirai’s time. Chero iye Nero when he was still opposition you would never see him achishama muromo wake achitsenga pavanhu. Manje this new crop vanofira pachikirimbani nekuda kudya. Regai Joji azoti mazidununu. I used to wonder how we were colonized, ndizvozvi izvi, kunyengedzwa nemafufu like rats. You will be busy thinking things will now happen kuParliament uko for those who voted for opposition, wotoona kuti vakaenda havo kunoguta. Loans, cars, stands, ndiye mwiro. Some even got contracts for their trucking businesses, ko zvemazita ndozvadii? Mapombi anenge achiziva hake, asi zvichakuva semazhanje. Dr Gire and Bhobho’s children vakungoita semarombe vese zvavo, hapana waunoti uyu. They are probably paying for their father’s sins. It’s like varikuripa ngozi. Zvino hatizozive nehuhwandu hweava zvikazodarowo pavari inenge ingori homu homu pese pawatarisa. Ndamboti mazita veduwee, kkkkk. Nhasi zvangu ndichabata kusiko, asi mugondidii semunoroya, ini vagabond one gentleman risingavanzi? Ndiriko kuChitima uko mukauya ndokukangirai maputi manyama, ndokuservai nemabanana akaora.
Anyway let me go ndindokanga maputi angu for lunch nekusona masaga angu ekufuga, ko ndingadii zvangu munyika yeVene? I am giving myself orientation yekuzogara muMutapa Kingdom, kutozvijaidza nhamo. If you see Mai MaTwins tell her kuno kune candidate yavo inoda kudzidziswa kudzudzura mumba nendove, zvino maMucheke ndoiwanepi hangu kusara kweyevanhu vakazvijaidza open defecation, kkkk? Asi kuPrecabe haiperi yemombe, I think Mai vanotofamba nechibucket chayo pavanobuda paTV paya. Vanhu vacho vese same fanana. I thought now that July Moyo zvaauya kuenergy maybe we will see Zesa during the day, wanike zero! Takanokorwa tsoka senyika.
Ahh, ko ndanga ndotokanganwa kuti vachiri kuleave, ko how will I remember that when we see him everyday vachingovingwa kuPrecabe nerudhende? It’s as if everyone has forgotten how to live without him. Tshabangu even assured him that we are happy as a country to be led by him. But if only I could have a way to know what Genarari will be thinking when all that is happening zvaizonakidza. I think anenge achingoti hoo, itai henyu zvichapera. With how he is treating Marry, haa vanotyisa baba vaya. Let’s hope he won’t have to do that kushasha dzedu dzebootlicking idzi, but you never can tell. Isu hedu tinongookera tirimo muprivate business revanhu called Zimbabwe. But one day is one day! Let me go for weekend and if anyone gets the results of the Zifa court challenge by the Aguma and Sabhuku Mliswa team please mundiudzewo. Mboko Imboko!!!.