Come back home our G40s

Ladies and gentlemen I hope you are keeping hydrated in this heat as well as minding your own business. Zvenyika ino zvakutongoda vanhu vanogona kuita mind their own business because mukada kuita zvemakwikwi neteapot country iyi munopera ndimi. Kana muchitori nezvekutengesa tengesai musarega bodo, musazongotengesa miviri yenyu chete. Muchidzingirigwa nekanzuru muchingoita cat and mouse zvakadaro zvichitofamba, kkk, nhasi zvangu NaNew Mayor. Mapombi, was going through labour statistics in Zimbabwe and this year zvirikunzi you are all employed, zvenyu zvekuti hee high unemployment rate ndezvemusoro wenyu izvo, it’s not based on research, kkkk. That’s why I am saying mind your business because I know that everyone has one, hakuna asina, including those in offices none of them does not have a side hustle yavari kufamba nehembe dzemubhero muhandbag selling mumabasa umu plus vanaAvon, Inuka, Sunbird, Fine what what. Zvekuti tax kunongotaxiwa vane manyemwe ekupinda mumasupermarket mahombe otherwise ratova drama. Even CEOs nemamanagers everywhere have gone into entrepreneurial mode, varikungokweretesawo mabroiler zvichitofamba. Ko todiiko munyika yechipikirwa? Here kuChitima I have opened branch one remabanana akaora, and I’m considering taking it into town paSimrac apo ndizombonetsanawo nekanzuru. Musazofamba muchiti Mapombi said kutengesa tengesa kwakashata, no, I’m actually moving in line with Vision 2030, plus inotengeswa nevene vayo kaiyi, kkkkk. Ko ndatadzei? I once said mutumabusiness imomu ndomuri kufamba madrugs negold smuggling because mmm, some of these SMEs never grow but never close up, kumabotique ikoko uko. Hameno havo vandatsikira madomasi avo on this one but anyway anyumwa bere nderake.
Mapombi had initially decided kumbokuzorodzai zvepolitics dzenyika ino but no mhani, if you do not do politics, politics will do you. I heard Mandiitawepi Chimene is considering coming back. You can come back home Mandi, dzoka uyamwe, akaimba Tuku. Apisazve mafuta emagwinya? Kkkkk. Power yakaoma vakomana. That woman was powerful and aifuruka kutaura chinoti pano? They were the owners and custodians of the system, the ‘who is who’, the ‘animals more equal than others’, Mapisarema chaiwo because vaigeza nemoto, bva ihhh, zvakakuva semazhanje. Who would have ever known kuti Mandi aizorarama nekubika magwinya kuMoza? Hanzi ED wemene akati huya kumba but manje she says haasati apedza kudzidzisa vanambuya vake kurima kuMoza. I wonder what Mugabe would feel dai aiva mupenyu chokwadi. Noone wants to be associated neG40 now. Chete haa dai pasina chichazikanwa naBhobho wacho yaive yangove hari yofazhirofa. But I think Zanu should take Mandiwetela back, I hope she has learnt her lesson if ever there was one. I truly believe that if she comes back now anenge ati tyo, ndokunge achigona kubwandira, which I highly doubt. I am also sure she is nolonger smoking weed. Aika, ko hamusi kuziva kuti airova mbabnje, go and ask Mai Marume paCentral apo she will tell you how she would be instructed to bring high grade to the minister kkk. Hameno ikoko. I also see Jonono Musorobhangu is at it trying his best to bash Chamisa left right centre, zvinongoonekwa zvega kuti dzasuwa kudzoka. Apunyaira haashayi misodzi Jono, shingirira. ED is a man not to easily forget but you can only try, maybe in no time unenge wati zete muZimbabwe,kkkkk. Jonso is one of the few people who does not have good memories of November 2017. That week, while we were busy collectively doing ‘dzungu’ things, Jonso nemafriends ake were busy nursing maronda. Isu tichibaika nekujamba ngoma ‘Kutonga kwaro’, vamwe vaivata vachivhumuka pfuti dzaivavhima, the criminals around Mugabe. Chombo by that time zheve dzanga dzadzivira nekurohwa mambama nemasoja mubarrack, ukuwo Kudzi Chipanga juzi rarisisabvi pamuviri nekupisa ikoko. But paya takaita hedu dzungu paya, vanaFadzi Mahere vachiposer nemasomeki mumastreets. Kufarira n’anga inobata mai. Kufarira ngozi tichiti mudzimu. Even those who were removing clothes in the streets vachipembera are now saying we told you so, hamusvodi mufunge. Do you know that Daddy Hope chaivo was once a loyalist of the second dispensation? These things happen, but zvekuzoti we told you so haa mutisvode mazvihwa? Chamisa chaiye aiveko kuinauguration. Panext door paZambia apa, Joseph Kalimbwe who was instrumental in Hichilema’s popularity akazvisiya wani? Zvinoitika zviya musambotii zvenyu. It’s just that vana vembwa havasvinuri musi mumwe chete. At the end of his life, Mugabe himself was exonerated by many, vanhu vachitomunzwira tsitsi. He was pictured wearing a tracksuit more expensive than the total wardrobe dzevanhu vazhinji but some vaitokanzwira tsitsi kadhara kaya kukanganwa ndondo yatakaoneswa 2008, uku mune zhara uku murikuvhimwa semakonzo mudzimba panaJune 27, 2008 paya.
Mapombi was happy to hear that there is movement coming from behind bars. What Job Sikhala is attempting to do ndokunonzi kugona manje because unenge uchingorikoka kuseri vamwe vachiita madhiri kunze forgetting about you. I truly hope that one day Sikhala will come out of jail alive and kicking, and that will change the whole country’s political narrative. The other comrades kana popisa they will cow down or run away, yet they ride on other people’s courage to challenge the status quo. Chero kuhondo chaiko, most of those potbellied fellas who claim to have fought for this country’s liberation vanoreva nhema. Takazohwa kuti vamwe vaiba zvivharangozi zvemadzimai kuMoza uko kkkkk. As for the rest, I think the one thing that put us in the state we are in as a country is lack of therapy and probably counselling after independence. We are dealing with leaders who never took time to heal their souls after they came back from war, shasha dzakazongotanga kudya nekumwa tea nenyama and all else zvakabva zvashaya basa. Ukuwo macouncilors ekumusha are busy kushaudhirana kutaura parufu kuZaka uko. Nhaimi zvamuchatouraya vanhu in your wards just so you get the chance to give a speech parufu. Your love for power is diabolic chokwadi. I also heard Rocky chiri kutonga mundufu dzose dzemuno muMasvingo Urban threatening CCC councillors who try to come with recalls because chishamwari chaTshabangu. Chete some people never learn. Twisting the will of the people will never get you anywhere, because deny it all you want but vanhu ndovane yese. Haiwawo, Shanty wacho ndiye upiwo akapindawo neback door saka hapana mutsvene.
Ko nhaimi, Genarari zii zii yavo bhoo here? I am not happy with how they are sidelining my friend General Chandaizment the Kedha one, General Ampi kkk. You guys remember when he came back from China after vamborwara paya? Wega wainyatsoona kuti haa mishini yakanyatsogadzira apa, munhu kuitwa refurbished kuita mutsva achangobugwa. But now makuvaita sei manje Genarari wabantu nhai? Ehe wabantu, musarambe because exactly six years on this day you were calling him General Bae, taikuonai zvedu. Makuvaramba nhasi because marohwa nenzaraka? Ehe ndozvainoita, inokuvhura brain nhamo.
Maby-election akuswedera aya, but haa Mapombi is not even excited. Tongoswerera here maelections as if ndochaachega? I recently came across an article that said according to research African youths now prefer military rule as opposed to democratic processes like elections because those processes are not delivering democracy yacho. Ehe, varikutoona kuti hazvisi kushanda vechidiki, ndosaka muchiona vachizokissa majombo emasoja during coups. We can’t even begin to talk about voter apathy because people get tired of doing the same thing without any positive results. Vhotai nekuvhotesana tione, vacho vamunopinza vonozadza homwe kuparliament nekucouncil uko, imi muchingosvaya nhunzi pamuromo. 2028 I also want to campaign ndini ndadiiwo, ndine vanhu kaini kuno kuChitima plus vekwaChirimudombo hobho.
Let me go ndindokanga maputi angu zvangu for lunch, mazuvano kuri kupisa so mabanana arikuora zvekurevesa, ndahwa nawo kuno. But guys, ko maZanu returnees vanongoti adzoka oti zii wani? Everyone who went back kuZanu anongonotsvaga pake pekugara panotonhorera oti kwaka kumaterrace, chiiko asi? Until next week, mboko imboko!