Enter factionalism season

Ladies and gentlemen I hope you are busy training your tummies for 0-0-1 because kana iri zhara zvayo gore rino iri kupromiser kuita magymnastics. Ko I was relieved ka last week seeing clouds and showers ndikati tawanirwa nyasha bva iihh, pakaipa. Hanzi nematraditional leaders manyanya kutanyanga tanyanga chivanhu that’s why it’s not raining. Sekumamisha nemuminda maidzingwa vanhu mazuva apera umu, most ended up not attending to their fields vachiti they are relocating elsewhere, and I know in some areas they even let loose their livestock kuti zvirimwa zvidyiwe. It is a sad situation altogether, but I saw that mapfura akaita chaizvo so tongobikawo mikumbi iyoyo todhakwa tose nenyika yacho nevatungamiri vayo, ko tisu tadiiwo, kkkk. I sincerely hope makore eration yakatiraramisa 1992 will be back, otherwise kutongorova mawild fruits takaenda. I remember back then muEsap we got ration, kungoti chete like any other government programme takasungira ura pasina. It has become our country’s record kungouya nezvimaprogramme zvisina kwazvinozombotisvitsa just like the mega deals ataigezera maoko nguva yaBob though we ate none. Who ever thought kuti Zimasset yaizobvuruwara like that? Vana Indigenization Programme akauya, hezvo shasha dzaida zvadzo kuzadza homwe; asi Kasukuwereka, kwauri ikoko Mwari ave newe. Ikozvino we are in the thick of Vision 2030, and vene vayo told us kuti vanenge vachipo to see the fruits of his labour, as if he ever labours for anything. Asi ehe henyu imi, kufunga kunorwadza uku, itori labour iyoyo, regai vazhinji vachizokurega voswera havo vachizunza zviuno pamarally vachinakirwa naMai Welli. Hameno maybe ndochivanhu chacho that is guarded by the custodians of our culture matraditional leaders’ edu madzimambo ari kungodai atopihwa mota tsva kunge bhutsu. I’m tempted to go kwaChirimudombo ndinonzwawo kuti handisi muline of chieftaincy here maybe ndingaswera ndongodyawo mafuta ayo nyika like other people’s children. Especially that I am a woman, I think if I play the gender card well ndopinda Chandisingadi kuita sabhuku kunge Mliswa because mmm, vaona moto nekuenda kucourt over illegal settlements. Nyika ina vene iyi, imi hamuna kana panokwana gomba renhodo, kkkkk.
Hama dzangu it is hot kwese kwese, and it is not only the weather I am talking about. Ko makuitana sei futi nhai nanaJohn Doe uko? I can imagine what happened to the people who were booked at those two hotels that were implicated in the issue, haa unodemba nechawanga uchaenderako because unobatanidzirwa. Kana uine midzimu inomwa hwahwa you are done for because haisi nyaya yekutambaka iya, threatening the Head of State and Government, who is also the commander in chief of the Zimbabwe Defence Forces, the Chancellor of all universities, in short, the owner of this land, haa threatening him kufarisa zvekurasa muswe. Whatever is happening behind closed doors, chakafukidza dzimba matenga chokwadi. Whoever thought that factionalism inopera ainyepa munhu iyeye. These people are power hungry and have ambitions that know no reason. Chandinongokumbira hangu ini Mapombi ndakazvimirira, please let peace reign, musatibatanidzira because we have seen violence and what it can do to people, and panorwa nzoua uswa ndihwo hunokuvara. I would have used a more sophisticated term but manje Chris Mutsvangwa is too quiet mazuvano handina kwekukopa chirungu chine mavhoko kwawo. But I truly wonder what is truly happening at the back of his mind, and I refuse to believe that he is just idle, because if I have seen one person who loves attention, it is Chris Mutsvangwa. I know zvangu kuti he is probably lying low, probably scheming and plotting for a comeback. Vatingatobeliever ndiGeneral Chandaizment kuti vanogona kumboti dii, wozoona vadzoka vakaita brand new like that time he returned from China. Ko hanzi ndivo vakazoaddressa musangano after Number One’s plane had made a u-turn back to Harare musi weFriday. Havaimbokona havo kutiza Ba Two because gore riya vakapotsa vaendeswa neice cream, gare gare bhomba muWhite City, this time pamwe hatizivi zvaiitika. Chete I heard Dr Amai vanosvikirwa zvekuti heki that’s why Trabablas achinetsa kubata kudai. Kuzvida havo zvigaro zviya but I guess you just have to sleep wakavhura ziso one because if you sleep kunge danda unopepuka wava chimukuyu. Rex Nhongo yakangova nhoroondo wani paBeatrice apo, Mai Mujuru ikozvino dzangova nhoroondo. But Zanu yakaoma vakomana, to think Joyce Mujuru, a gallant soldier of the liberation struggle akaimbirwa ‘zimuroyi repacorner’ all because of Dr Gire. Haa kanyika kano kanombonaka vakomana, kushaya zvako vene asi kanombospaka. Sometimes ndinombofunga hangu kuti somewhere somehow pane ari kuwanza mafirimu, especially those action films, kkkkk, hanzi John Doe. Mapombi truly hopes kuti hakuna vati vavakuda kupira neropa because further bloodshed mvura ingatokona zvachosezve, if we use the logic yematraditional leaders edu, which in any case is selective, and clearly partial.
Handi kuZanu bedzi where things are going haywire, kuopposition ingori njake njake, no one really knows where things will go from here. Even sworn loyalists vaChamisa I believe vane madoubts navowo because the confusion is just too much. Chibaya, Dubeko naOstallos were here in Masvingo this last week, blowing nothing but hot air, iya yevanhu vane hasha dzekuitwa recalled from Parliament. Zvaipopota wena, kkkkk for nothing just like professor Welsh who promised to breathe fresh air into CCC which is in ICU. Tshabangu akatopedza zvake basa akungoita like used toilet paper ari kwaari ikoko. But I really think it is time the likes of Ostallos change their messaging because right now all they are spewing is hate against vanaBiti and crew, not giving their supporters a clear direction of where things are going. We all agree that they were wronged, and they are angry, also needing to let off some steam, but to what end and until when? They should be mindful kuti if they are not careful, they will slowly lose popularity kumasupporters, mind you they are not moving around naye Chamisa wacho. Ngavachitanga kupa vanhu direction inoratidza kuti they are building something, if not, voudza vanhu kuti we or Chamisa is taking a break amboita strategize. We all know what happens if you move too fast, either politically or zvemjolo, it all ends in tears. Zvaingoda kunge vanhu vave nesome direction, remember these are people whose input through the ballot was rendered useless following the recalls of the people they voted for, nyangwe zvazvo vanga vapinda zvisizvo vanaShantie uko. Hanzi naChibaya kuState House hakuna President right now, really? Kana kusina bva endaika. Stop telling people lies and give them direction, kuState House kune vene udzai vanhu chokwadi.
But imi vanhu veopposition mukawana nguva mukwane, what were you doing at Moreblessing Ali’s funeral muchiita like uncultured baboons kurwa parufu to settle political scores. Muri right rigt here iyemi? Muchitoda kuti party yenyu itonge nyika ino nemaitiro enyu akadhakwa kudaro? Moreblessing Ali died a very painful death in the hands of a Zanu supporter, vekusaziva muganhu weviolence ava, yet that is the very thing you want to emulate. Mukawana mukana nenguva kwanai mazvihwa. Zvekuti Jobson Sikhandela or Nelson Chamisa zvineyi neparufu kana ndimi? You have all the time and space to do that, not in presence of Moreblessing’s relatives who have been mourning their relatives for two years now. Factionalism neparufu here vanhuwoye, hamunyari makaita sei? Hamuna kudzidza here paMdara Mogiza paya when you wanted to torch madam Khupe? Ivo varipiwo, varova chose, I hope she is getting better from cancer.
Anyway, regai ndinokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch, mabanana arikuodzwa nezuva so ndiribho mazuvano. But before I go, I just want to say Mthuli Tax Us Ranger nemaproperty tax ako wakuvadza vanhu veduwe, mabill akuuya achichemedza. Mavendors emuchitima told me vave kungoshandira bepa rekanzuru, zvichibva naMtuli. Without perpetuating violence, I wish waimbosangana naformer MDC chair for Masvingo James Gumbi vambokuita zvavakaita kuConcession. Welldone once again our Police for arresting Gumbi kkkk. Kana ane mangoromera ekurova ngaadzokere kupolitics andopindana nevamwe mugango kwete kurovera mwana nzimbe sure, nxaaa.
Ko nhai makamboonawo VaMphoko here? Wandakaona musi uno ndiBona muridzi wenyika, ndofunga she can accommodate all the illegal settlers vari kumhanyiswa nemapurisa kumastands nemapurazi ake emuwando aya.
Mukaonawo Dr Gire muvamhorese, asi musimbisise VaMphoko, maybe he may return nezvitiyo tikaita maprojects, mazuvano huku dziri kunetsa. Mboko imboko!