One president leading two political parties

Abracadabra! Abracadabra! Gore rezvihuta rakauya nezvakawanda!

Haa iyi manje ndo ma1… kana kuti let me say ma1 aya atanga!

 I had never thought of it until some people passed through my place discussing this issue. Hey, the two men were talking politics heavy baba but from my own assessment, they seemed to be war veterans. Aah isu we just say it as it is, hapana watinonyara because isu hapana anotinyarawo. 

They were angry about what is happening in their political parties – and I have to say parties because dzatova two.  I never thought that one man could lead two political parties but it’s happening in Zimbabwe in this year of Zvihuta. You know what, when we are in this flea market, tinonzwa dzose dzaose – President Robert Mugabe is becoming a super hero. He has managed to be the first man in the world to ever lead two different political parties – Zanu Lacoste and Zanu G-40. These two political parties are costing us zvedu isu vamwe. You know what, I came here in town after being persuaded that the then Zanu-PF had promised to unlock 2,2 million jobs tikati regaivo tinoshanda. But upon arrival, hatina mabasa atakaona – look at me even today, handiti vamwe venyu munotonditiza muchiti mupengo uyo and yet it’s just that I do not have money. Munoti munhu asina pekugara atova mupengo? 

I shall not continue talking about the million-men march because I think it’s now water under the bridge and some of the guys who marched against themselves in Harare are now loitering here mu flea market, it’s back to square one – isu tinongovaona necorner yeziso then we break into laughter ivo voti ha mupengo hezvo nikisi sometimes we laugh at how educated people get manipulated. Some of us who did not go to school are better because at least we say if PhD holders are now selling mabhero kuno uku, what about us who do not have those all levels kkk. 

In a country where everyone marches in support or against the President, in a country where police has become a fundraising arm of the government, in a country where industries are turned into church halls and university lecture rooms, in a country where one man can be the President of two opposing political parties, in a country where a criminal can sponsor the national team, a man of Mapombi’s experience can be forgiven for thinking that there is no difference between Ancient Egypt and Zimbabwe – dzimba dzemabwe – we are in the stone age for sure kkk.

Some people were laughing at me because I sleep in the open but now I have several followers in the corridors of Masvingo kkkk. Taimbokuudzai muchiti tinonyeba vakomana kutonga haisi nyore! You can rig everything but sometimes economy can be very stubborn and you need to be very strong — but tell me, where is the much celebrated Dangote? Sorry it was not meant to hurt someone, it’s only that I think aloud. Chiruzevha chakandibaya chikatyokera.

Haa nemiwo munoenda kumisangano muchitadzawo here kubvunza …they have told you lies over and over again, investors this, investors that. We looked East for a long time now but what are the results, isu tinongotonhogwa nechando muno maDr Amai (PhD) UZ. Ko muzukuru haasati ava nediploma here – who knows maybe UZ can confer kuita just a donation, ko achiri enhamo here macampus angovawo nekumaR uko kkkk MaR campus haa maProfessor aya! By the way, I can also be called Dr Mapombi ndava ne PhD yenhamo I know how to deal with nhamo at highest level.

But apa allow Dr Mapombi to laugh, kuseka chaiko keke keke keke kiki …this man, I mean Sekuru vaSimba or Masimba or whatever munoreva kuti vatotadza kuraira Mboko here? I hear this man you call Mpoko or Perekezera orambira muhotera – how life can be different, vamwe we survive on rotten bananas when Mboko is living at the Rainbow village… anyway chimboitai. That’s why Mapombi would think Ngwena is a better devil, because you can’t live muhotera, ndokunonzi kusanyara! Ko bonus yakazopera kubhadharwa here? Isu tozvizivirepi setiri paticket… how about ma salaries, are they coming, tell me about cash ichiko here, kkk ndava kuda kuziva zvakawanda but someone decides to live in a hotel for five years mapedza moti pamberi  pwetere pwetere haa imi, sekuru tsiurai munhu uyo kani anokunyadzisai!

I am very hungry and ndiri patight let me go for lunch ndimbonokanga zvangu maputi!

Mukadarika nekwaChirimudombo ndokumbirawo kuti muvaudze kuti Mapombi mupenyu but please don’t tell them that I have lost weight because they might get extremely worried! Let us pray for Zimbabwe harsh tag Mapombi’s prayer.

Mboko imboko! Kumusha muhotera Rainbow Village #Mapombi!!!