Kkkkkkk Zanu PF so ka! Mapombi once said this soon after the coup kuti uku ndiko kupemberera n’anga neinondobata mai but many of you thought I’m crazy. I am not crazy Cdes, and I will never be asi changu kufira kureva chokwadi. I know the Zanu PF youths are as vicious as rabid dogs these days especially when their party is preparing for provincial elections this Decemeber. Twuri kukandirwa mabhonzo tukomana twacho zvekuti kungonzi saaaa bata zvokwadi unoitwa kanyama kanyama. But it’s pathetic how the youths are being used to perpetrate political violence. KwaGutu vakauraya umwe uko, but the good thing is ngozi haiteveri party inotevera auraya.
Anyway, I will not say much but zivai kuti munhu aangouraiwe sehuku zvikarova. By the way can someone tell me what is really happening in Zanu PF? The recent politburo meeting left me with a lot of questions and wondering who is really in control. The Mutsvangwas, Monica and Crisis are now firmly in control of the information departments both in Zanu PF and Government following the appointment of Crisis, sorry I mean Christopher Mutsvangwa as the secretary for information. Mai nababa vava kuita madiro umwe party spokesperson umwe government spokesperson hehehehehehe wozodeyi ndokuendera kuhondo zviripo ka uku vana Rugeje vakangoti vavava kkkkkkkkkk. But Rugeje vanomuiteiko vakomana ? Imhosva here kubva kuBikita nhai varume? Mapombi knows very well that even Mugabe never liked Bikita thats why we never had a Governor or Minister of State for Masvingo bein from Bikita district. All other districts, Masvingo, Chivi, Chiredzi, Gutu, Mwenezi and Zaka have rotated except for Bikita. Other districts like Masvingo, Chivi have doubled before Bikita. This is not fair Cdes. What sin did Bikita commit? Ko Rugeje ke? The Mutsvangwas are enjoying and dominating as if they are the only Cdes who went to war, why Mr President?
Mapombi can tell you guys if you begin to see those big words and that Student Campanion-powered English in The Herald moziva kuti ndiCrisis. He is now the man in-charge of information kumusangano and we all know how the party controls Herald and Dead BC.
In my honest opinion I think this whatever dispensation is worse than the Mugabe dispensation – ava Havana kana ganda kumeso ende chikoro chinoita sechishoma hameno kana makambozvionawo? Someone once questioned kuti iyo Law yamakaita isinawo kana classmate inoti shuwa taiva tose kuUniversity makamboiitira kupi chaizvo? One zvake? I mean one maCdes. Inini vandakadzidza navo I see them every day kwedu kuChitima uko and they can tell you kuti mukadzi airova chikoro uyu kwete zvekutamba. Yes, I was a genius and I am still one. Don’t judge me because I stay kuChitima survive on rotten bananas and maputi; panguva yeInclussive Government hamuna kundiona ndava kuroja kaapartment kangu imi? I’m in this situation all thanks to Zanu PF especially Mugabe and Emmerson – the two ruthless leaders this beautiful country knows. Dai mudumbu maidzokerwa ndaiti ndidzoserei mozondibuditsa kana Chamisa ava kutonga kana kurega zvangu ndifire mudumbu maamai vangu zvakangofanana izvi. But I am not sure if Chamisa would lead this country one day because I heard Mukoma Dougie Mwanzora is planning an unholy alliance with ED where they will form an inclusive government with the former becoming Prime Minister. Kkkkkkkkkkk heheheheheeeeeedaaaa huuuurrirrriiiiiiii seka zvako Mapombi. I have so much respect for Dougie; but izvi zvomoda kuita izvi pfirai pasi imbwa dzinonge Mukoma Dougie. Please don’t erode the little respect that we still have for you – it’s never too late to do the right thing.
Let me not waste time talking about Mukoma Dougie whom we all know is not liked by many. Let us also forget about the Mutsvangwas who were given unfettered powers to control information both at Jongwe House and Munhutapa building.
Anyway, Mapombi can safely tell you that we are going to have a female VP to take over Moresex Mohadi’s office. She was recently appointed into the politburo by her husband and she now awaits the final appointment as the VP. Munhu wese kuna Amai Auxillia weeee!!! Ndati Munhu Wese kuna Amai uko muri kuzvinzwa here? Yes, ED deliberately made this appointment; obviously to try and dilute Chiwenga’s power. Mind you Chiwenga ava kudawo chitandaka and some circles are already saying ipai mukomana chinhu chake chaakabvuta from Uncle Bob.
But Mapombi never thought ED would stoop so low; why doing the same mistakes that were committed by Bob? I think Mugabe was far much better because he allowed Grace to take an elective post; of course we all know no one was interested to contest Grace for the women’s League post and thats why she won uncontested. Manje izvi zvekungomuka wakabairira mukadzi muPolitburo izvi eeeeh chisionekwi chaicho. But anyway, kumagumo kune nyaya – we all know how Grace eventually fell from grace. Mukoma Jabu, I mean the self-proclaimed war vet once said power can never be sexually transmitted, and he was very right. The biggest downfall for many men is women, talk of Samson in the Bible, Robert Mugabe and now Mnangagwa. Ini ziii zvangu semunhu mukuru otherwise ndinoswera ndanwiswa zvangu masewage with those guys in cheap nylon suits and dark glasses. Kkkk but vakanetsa ndovadaidzira brother yangu Joze Nemaisa. Akaadashura masoja kkkk. Asi nhai Mthuli ko kuwedzerawo vanhu mari zvodii nhaiwe? Some need to buy new suits and dark glasses mind you. Zvinozomboda here kuzikanwa neSuit imwe chete aaaah udzwa uchinzwa iwe Mthuli. It’s unfortunate that many civil servants are afraid of this Mthuli guy so they end up misdirecting their anger kunesuwo zvedu vana Mapombi tisu tadiiwo? Deal with Mthuli, confront him – we all know kuti he has surplus, right?
Anyway, Mapombi was saying so Mnanganwa’s next move now is to appoint Auxillia VP obva apinda muBedroom yaKembo iya. Sorry I mean office yaKembo iya. By the way, the old man is still drinking two cups every week ka kkkkkkkkk chakaona hama hachisekwi vakomana. So Auxillia will be the second female VP after Joice Mujuru. Ko game racho is very smart ka. Now women and women organisations including NGOs will be used ka to demand that one post in the presidium should be reserved for women tobvaka tati the Voice of the People is the voice of God tichiisa heduka Auxillia.
Let me go ndindokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch otherwise ndinozonzi Mapombi anotaurisa asi vakuru vakati chati homu chareva. Those who care to listen, just watch how the events in Zanu PF will unfold. For now let us concentrate on provincial elections then early next year we will make appointments that will shock the whole nation. But what I know Chiwenga is not a fool; Rugeje is not a fool, July and many other Cdes. Let me practice the slogan before I go because manje manje inenge yava kudyisaka kana uchiigona zvako kkkkkkkk – Pamberi naMai hoyeeee! Pamberi naAuxillia! Munhu wese kuna Amai!
