Arrest inflation if you can

Ladies and gentlemen, the election season is upon us, and I can bet you that this year it’s yet another watershed election, whatever that means but to my understanding it means haa tichaonerera nhaka. What I know for sure is that mumastreets mune hasha umu because what in the name of running a country like a tuckshop is that? Now I am compelled to believe that Scarfmore was truly in his element when he said tidye murivo namapotato. If you think I am lying go check beef prices maOK umo, munobudamo muchimanya mapeasants, kkkkk. Of course with the Second Desperation presiding over a runaway inflation fronted by Panonetsa and Muthuvi alongside their master Scarfmore, haaa the once Bread Basket of Africa rangova bhasikiti raTizirai. Zuru rakapinda nyoka. Chiseko chenyika. Nyika rombe kkk. Please do not tell me that you expect the same starved electorate to vote you back into power come August. Yes, elections are going to be held in August even though ED asati aita announce, I heard he is waiting for some exercise associated with gerrymandering to be completed by FAZ neamwe mastakeholders ekurigger maelections. Hanzi they are busy moving Zanu voters to CCC strongholds to dilute the vote, manje nekuondonga kwamaita nyika muchenjere kudilutwa mava imi kusara mava mvrink, seka hako Mapombi. You can never rig the economy varume. No, it will not work, you will work. But honestly, Panodhuva naMutuvi, why are you continuing to print volumes of the useless Bond notes only to drive inflation to unprecedented levels only for them to get forex from the streets? Speaking of exchange rate yebond note zvakunyadzisira mumastreets. Anyway, by hook or crook we should make a complete cycle back to 2008, where Gidza Gono would make sure that every two weeks he tells us; “Ladies and gentlemen, failure is not an option…” before removing zeros on the currency. But varume ka. Either makapata or mune utsinye hunotyisa because the amount of pain you have made this country endure haa, zvichakuwanai chete. And even with such levels of failure, you will never hear them speaking of resigning. Kuita nhodo nayo economy, chero zvazvaita. You are a disgrace varume imi. Now you are busy promising WiFi kuCowdray Park uko vana Mthuli. What a clueless antipoor hardcore neocapitalist. Let’s see if you can arrest inflation. Haisungwe neZRP ka iyi like human rights defenders nanaSikhala vamunongosunga madiro.
Philanthropic work seems like ndokwekupengera kweMadzimai Ekutanga kkkkk. I heard Mai Matuwinzi has made Masvingo her second home, doing iyo philanthropy, gare gare tauya kuzobika rupiza paPoly. Haaa dene mugwagwa weBeitbridge waiva wemusango chero nyoka dzaisawana hope naiyo motorcade yaAuxillia ichiuya Masvingo kuzobika nhopi after every two days. But at least for Rujeko residents vanoziva kuti kana Amai vari munzvimbo magetsi wo haa anenge akati yakayaka. For everyone else Zesa inongouya manheru kuzorara yotofuma yakabaya like it’s going for an important shift. I really wonder what exactly Auxy is cooking ikoko kurikuunganidzwa vechidzimai. I was just thinking this other day kuti zvino madzimai ogara achingodzidziswa kubika neN’anga iyi mukati haisi mifuhwira here yavarikupiwa nekuoneswa maitirwe ayo kkkk. Isu zvedu vanaMapombi we are safe nekuti mhandire hadzina recipe plus handina wekuita makwikwi naye ndongorova gango rangu ndozvimwira mvura, hameno varikuzvidzidzo avo. This time around, as if the wastage of bringing the motorcade was not enough, I heard Chikopokopo chichienda kurutivi rweGreat Zimbabwe hamenowo kana dzisiri izo dzakabve Russia where another looting spree was done. Dzongori dzaivo Baba namai nematwins, kana manga muchida kurwara mugoitwa airlift kuendeswa kuchipatara kusina mushonga mairasa kkkkk. Soon we will hear vaakuenda kutoilet nendege. For the rest of us, it’s no water, no Zesa but somehow middle income economy by 2030, mati madii. Here in Masvingo, the day we see Zesa during the day pachaita batai batai nemufaro. Nothing is working. We are still having such archaic disease outbreaks like cholera mukore uno.
I see Jonso is at it again. He seems to be on a pedestal to badmouth opposition and everything Zanu condemns, he is condemning. We see you musorobhangu. Don’t think we have forgotten about what you did to Zimbabwean media. Most of the problems the media is currently facing were created by you singlehandedly. Mapombi is reliably informed that you are bitter about Nero’s refusal to work with you in 2018, that’s why you are even lashing out to everyone encouraging people to register to vote. Manje vuno Zimbabwe muchakuonera kuhope sabhinya kkk. Idyai sadza remabanana munyerere ikweyo. But power yakaoma zvayo vakomana. Aiziva kuti Jonso achazonanzva ED kuti adzoke kumusha ndiani? Baba vaiva nemanyawi zvavo ivavo. What Jonono did when he still had power can never be undone kusvika Zanu yacho kusisina. Asara ndiJoji because mmm, arrogance dzemurume uya chero ini Mapombi ndiri nani. A word of advice to all those who are tired of mabanana akaora like me; don’t be discouraged about registering to vote. Varikutya protest vote plus bhora musango vanhu ava. The economy is stinging like a bee and striking like a cobra; murikudyiwa nhema mudzimba umu kkkk. I heard hazvina kumira mushe mumusangano. A lot of disgruntlements about Zanu primaries are yet to be rectified, FAZ yakamhanya nechitanda apawo delimitation will show most of them flames. Ukuwo Sybeth Msengezi is busy mobilising support for Nero, haa ndopaunoona kuti alternative hatinawo hedu senyika. Izvozvi I know that Nero will fumble all that support chichingouruka uruka nekukanda maverse zvacho. But nanhasi, Msengezi’s case has not been heard. These guys vanoita kujuggler juggler vokicka zvavo justice system kunge bhora.
Mapombi was recently disappointed seeing rapists bragging about being released from prison. I was very shaken, thinking kuti mabhinya iwaya haasiriwo here achazotishungurudza come election time? I could not help but think about Border Gezi, Chipangano and all the other terror groups associated with these criminals. Imagine hanzi ‘Mnangagwa Huchi’ ndaakudzokera kumba. What saddened me kuona Nicky Mangwana achitoposta zvake bhinya richibigger boss wake paTwitter. Our girls are not safe with you people in power. Mark my words, with how this regime is so blood thirsty, I can assure you that it’s not the end you will hear of these criminals. Isu hedu all we want is peace. Violence is retrogressive and it won’t lead us anywhere. We have so much to lose senge isu madzimai. Vanoda zveviolence irwai neinflation uko, yakatotsamwa zvaizvozvi and economy is receiving a heavy bashing, kana muchizvigona. Inflation will continue running riot like a bull in China shop because mbiri yenyu senyika ndeyekushaya discipline nemari dzekukwereta, and Zim is notorious for not paying back zvikwereti. Tell me how then do you get lines of credit pakadaro? Even isu the civilians will not dare trust this system with our money because we all know the history. Kutoisa mupillow because you will wake up mari yako isisina mazero neiwo mapolicies nemaStatutory Instruments anongonzi whenever someone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed totokandirwa. Rumour here at Chitima irikuti NGOs are a bit reserved in being too vocal about these issues because pane chiPVO Bill ka chatakakugadzirirai. Inonzi tamba tamba chidembo muswe ndakabata. I bet you that thing may never see the light of day. It’s just a scare tactic being used to silence dissenting voices. Kungonzi iti pwee ndichikande, ndiye tyoo! If by any chance it manages to be passed, that will be maybe after elections, but Mapombi really doubts that. What Mapombi does not doubt is that if ED manages to get two thirds majority in parliament in this year’s elections, he will amend the constitution to give himself another, if not more terms. That I promise you, he will do. Handiti he said 2030 anenge achipo? If he does not get two thirds muparly, Genarari vanenge vadzoka mugame because ED anenge akutya impeachment, so there won’t be any dillydallying. Musazoti Mapombi haana kutiudza.
Can anyone tell me from an informed view point the current on-goings mumusangano waDouglas kuti zvikumbofamba sei chaizvo? But tichida kutaura hedu chokwadi Dougy’s case in a normal country would have held water. It’s just that ndezvanaDhagi so really hazvina achaterera. The guy has lost his leverage kuZanu kwacho because he failed at being an asset, he could not destroy Chamisa. Zanu cannot destroy Chamisa. On the other hand Chamisa cannot destroy Zanu. Zvinhu zvacho so. Kwatiri kubva ndokwatirikuenda. Regai ndinokanga maputi angu for lunch zvangu. I heard Mphoko’s son was recently convicted of rape. Chizviregai. Mboko imboko!