Hungwe in hot soup Cdes!

Kkkkk this is the same man who once described President Robert Mugabe as God. He is the same bootlicker who praised Vice president Emmerson Mnangagwa as Son of God. Kkkkkk poor Hungwe – he is now in hot soup. Kkkk zvimwe munozvinyanya shuwa kutowana munhu akafanana naJesu – muZanu-PF?

Kkkk do you know this song by Justin Timberlake – what comes around goes around? Don’t cry foul Hungwe because Mapombi heard you used to backbite others so it’s now your turn to face the music.

 Mapombi is enjoying old school music these days – of course kutongoinzwawo pamaradio anenge achitengeswa kwedu kwaDr Grace Trading Centre uko. Hanzi naThomas Mukanya Mapfumo ‘Nyika ino yava mamvemve’.  Aaah Mukanya vakaonera madhiri acho kare kare chaiko isu vana Mapombi takangoti vavava kwaChirimudombo.

But we should let them rule forever these Cdes! Let them rule kana vakundikana ngavape vana vavo vatonge kana zvaramba vazukuru ndivo vari kuzvarwa kudai ngavapiwewo vatonge. Aaah by the way Mapombi was wondering how he can pass on his gift to the First Family – ndine zvihuta zvangu zvandodawo kukorokotedza mwana waBona! You never know, bootlicking and backbiting seem to be the only remaining tactics for survival in Zanu-PF. Kkkkkk asi pamwe pacho tinozozvinyanya kubva tasvika pakuti vaMugabe iCremora kkkkk ko ivo vari seiko vaWebster Shamu kuChegutu uko? Kkkkk Zanu-PF chiororo.

And I heard this time our godfather Hungwe who often likens Mnangagwa to Son of God and Mugabe to God, kkkkk zvaiwana ngwarati! The Zanu-PF Masvingo godfather is in hot soup – Mapombi is a gentleman munongozviziva handivanzi. We need to pray for our dear Cde for surely he is in hot soup.  At least we once warned these Cdes kuti dzimwe bootlicking dzomoita idzi hadziite Mwari havafare nadzo zvino chionai manje. Look now you are being roasted like zvihuta. Musatamba naBobo vakomana!

But if there is one person who really understands Bob, Mapombi is very sure that person is God only. It’s amazing how he dumped other guys he fought with in the liberation war and how he started to reward sellouts soon after independence neglecting well-deserving Cdes like ana Black Jesus ava. Mapombi heard vanaHungwe, ana Shamu and even gogo Mahofa were all sellouts during the liberation war but eish, look the luxurious vehicles they are driving and compare with other Cdes who were with Mugabe at Gonakudzingwa and Chimoio – it’s pathetic! That’s Bob for you!

Mapombi heard Hungwe is being summoned to the State House weekly after it leaked that Masvingo province was planning to kick out Mugabe and replace him with the Crocodile in the event that they successfully push for an Extra Ordinary Congress next year. You all know kuti garwe haridye chebamba ka?

The information reached Bob and Hungwe was immediately summoned to explain. Of course Hungwe being a sellout during the war Mugabe knew he is the weakest point to attack! 

Mapombi can imagine Bob achiti; ‘Ichokwadi here ichi chandiri kunzwa vaHungwe kuti kuMasvingo mati hamuchandida? Mava kuda Ngwena? Hanzi ndauraya nyika…ini ndoga? Ndakanga ndisina imi? Zvino tingashanda sei nenyanya dzakadai…taifunga kuti zvehutengesi makaregera zvino aaah…’ Kkkkkk gore rino hameno. VaMangundya wanzai maBond Notes tigowanawo yekutengesa maputi zvedu isu vana Mapombi whilst we watch the drama unfolding.

Hatina kana vhundu all I need is chibage chekukanga maputi and some rotten bananas and I’m done.

Mapombi heard Hungwe ava kuita kunge ava kutoshandira paState House these days..  At least twice a week – chamakadya chopfuka Cde! Bob needs clarity kuti mukuda kuti aende kupi? Handiendeee…handiendeee. Sando kuna Tuku haana kungoimba but ange atoonera kare. Mozotiwo zvenyu imi vana Hungwe netwuvanhu twemMasvingo moti mudhara ngaarove pasi. Zvimwe muchiti munotamba.

Mapombi heard Hungwe was a bit relieved following the death of his brother Silas Hugwe as he was given a break. But Mapombi heard soon after burial Hungwe was again summoned to the State House and just last week he went there ka2. This week pamwe achaenda ka3 kkkkk munoda kubvisa ani pachigaro… muchiisa Mukaranga? Kkkkk Zvakataurwa naMphoko kuChiweshe asi hamuna kuzvinzwa? Kkkkk munofira mahara vana Hungwe idyai makanyarara zvehutengesi imbomirai or else tinofanana manje manje. Musazoti Mapombi haana kureva.

But Mapombi like our musicians so. Hanzi naZhakata dai ndirini ndigere paye ndairidza huwi ndodaidzira vamwe vangu kuti kuno kwaita dovi vakomana huyai munombore . Ungavadii? Hapana kana zvaungavaita especially with an experienced CEO like Bob.

Now we have literally gone back to 2008 thanks to our Cdes in government. Instead of fast forwarding they are busy reversing everything. Do you still remember those days when Gideon Gono was like the Prime Minister of this country supervising all the ministries? And his infamous statement; ‘…we have moved from zero to hero… we have decided to cut six zeros…’ Kkkkk kuseka nhamo serugare! Asi munombotionesa ndondo vakomana. 

And mapombi heard Mangundya auyawo nemaBond Notes. Kkkkkk varume nyika maikonewa iyi – ko kumbopawo Ngwena akazama zvodiiko? Kana chematama Tea-boy Tsvangirai kana Zimuroyi rekuDotito – kkkk asi Zanu-PF chiororo zveshuwa how can you label Joice Mujuru zimuroyi rekwaDotito? Hanzi haana kana kutombofura ndege kana kahwani kkkkk Chris so ka!. By the way where is he? I mean Chris Mutsvangwa? Makambomuonawo here kana kumbonzwa nezvake? Kkkkk Zanu haina mugoni – it’s a private company ina CEO maCdes and if you go against the CEO rinopera basa masikati machena.

It’s almost lunch time Cdes, allow me to go and look for chibage kwaDr. Grace trading centre uko ndikange zvangu maputi angu for lunch. Gogo Mahofa ndioneiwo pamunda wenzimbe apo kana mukaitawo mukana because ndiri kukanga waya. Hungwe ngoma ndiyo ndiyo! But don’t forget mukadarika nekwaChirimudombo kuvaudza kuti Mapombi achiri kukanga waya patawundi. Mboko imboko!mapombi