It’s another sad Easter CDEs !!

Let me first of all convey my heartfelt condolences to the families of Zion Christian Church (ZCC) congregants who reportedly perished in a road accident on Thursday evening. What a sad and dark day for the nation as road carnage once more claims more lives. May their dear souls rest in eternal peace.
Ko nhai team hamuchandiudzi kuti the new $100 bill was printed in 2020 only to be released now kkkkk, haaa this country soo ka. Inini I thought these guys saw kuti there’s need to increase the denomination now izvo vakazviona 2020 but the note was locked away to mature kkkk. These are the results if you deal with old people who think someone has to be old to lead a country. Sevanhu vanomborohwa sterek neWhiskey they believe everything should be locked away before it matures zvino hezvo, the new note is two years old kkkkk. Why was it printed and not used, hazvishamise izvezvi if we search in the RBZ kutowana mutori neThousand, kana Billion notes. The guys on top there are crazy and they can do the craziest things you can never imagine. I told you last week kuti boyz dzeSmoko want to take us to 2008 so please fasten your seat belts because the road is bumpy.
Speaking of bumpy roads, ours are really bumpy ladies and gentlemen, most of our roads dzichiri zhira chaidzo, worse still with the pace the ERRP programme is moving at, haa 2030 tenge tichipo tichingogadzira, panozodzokwa kwatakabva kunenge kwakutoda, ko mati pane zviri kuitwa here, they are just painting roads with some blackish jelly with few concrete stones, hezvino ndiri pano tichaona if they will last.
I was happy recently when I heard that mukomana had dissolved Masvingo CCC provincial Executive kkkkkk, hanzi it’s very incompetent, I would like to believe it. Haa sure you think if we put them man to man apa neZanu you will surely understand what I am talking about. Totora Mavhenyengwa toisa apa, then we take Marava toisa apa kkkk, totora chedu Maga-Maga spokesperson toisa apa then kuCCC toisa chedu Gudzameso apa kkkk, haa apa iZaka yese kkk. Was it by coincidence kuti both chairpersons are from Zaka as well as the spokespersons, mmmm something is fishy apa. Haa sometimes you accuse me of talking too much but mmm CCC itai serious mutiisire vanhu kwavo.
I hear factionalism is rocking both parties in the provinces, todiiko nevanhu veMasvingo kkk. Just watch the space ladies and gentlemen; Biti is consolidating power in the province sekutamba sekuseka ipapa. Ko team PDP and ZimPF has formed a tag team and vari kuuya hot vaakutoda kutiza nepower in the province. I once told you kuti Somanje paaiti pengaudoke aisanyepa, it’s just a circus, kungobuda vanhu vachidzoka zvichingodaro kkk. Muchaona after 2023 ana Dhagi retracing their footsteps back, ko Khupe is back wani, ivo vanaBiti nanaWelsh paya vaituka Save vachiti Gumbura nhasi varipi, aren’t they the VPs. Ana Sitemere are warming their way back and they are poised to take over the reins from Marava, haa sure let the old man rest ladies and gentlemen, vakarwa kurwa kwakanaka inga wani.
I hope you people are registering to vote there while the blitz is still open, zvekuzoti chokwa chokwa time dzapera bodo. It’s everyone’s duty to make sure that his friends and family have registered; it’s just that ini handina hama zvangu I would have urged them to register. I like the energy by this young fella wekamota keRed pedu paTsungai apa, he is working tirelessly to make sure that people have registered achinotora vanhu nemota yake to and from. I just heard that is what he is doing but I have never seen waakanotora but I like the energy, keep that up Wakura, ndokukura ikoko kkkk, chero waiva kwaMai Mujuru at least you are doing something.
But do you know ini naHopewell chete tisu tinotaura chokwadi akanoseva Mbudziyadura kuConference uko, at least the conference helped him to amplify what we have been already saying. Pazvinositaurwa kunongonzi ha Mbudziyadura atanga, but the platform made everyone who cared to listen to believe that it’s really happening. PaProvincial hospital apa paMasvingo there is only one BP Machine, one chaiyo which is being shared by the entire provincial hospital haa sure we are cursed as a country. Varakashi will accuse me of not being patriotic when I raise issues like this. They think raising a fist in the air is being patriotic. I hear the Patriotic Bill is being speeded up so that rinobata vasiri patriotic kkkk. Nhamo, if the law was applied equally in Zimbabwe I would vote for it because in its real sense inobata team Zanu yese, they are the ones who are not patriotic. Itai henyu bill renyu, ini accuse me of being unpatriotic all you like but I won’t stop telling the truth. Handinyararae ini, why would I, ndakafa kare handikendenge ini.
Asi mukatoti Robert Jnr Mwana waUncle Bob imi? We used to hear that the old man had discipline in matters to do with the waist zvino uyu mwana mmm, I am told akungopiwa mababe chero paasvika. Dai atoita hake Mkwasha waBaba Zero kkkk, I hear Zero wacho Bertha has resurfaced from hibernation where she has been following his father’s dismal loss in the just ended elections kkk.
Did anyone see our beloved President without his usual scarf kkkk, vaiva nechimwe chewhite chine picture yavo soo, mviro mviro dzemhanza mapfeka, I am sure he will soon abandon that rag inoita kunge ngendere yemombe njeni. A good Samaritan showed me the picture on twitter and for the first time I agreed with this foul-mouthed guy Nick Mangwana, hanzi nhasi baba vakachena kkk, he even noticed that kana asina that thing he will be looking better.
I used to give prayers during the Easter holidays, ladies and gentlemen but this time around I have no power, mabvi apera simba, I wanted to pray for you but eish I really can’t. Last year I failed again because of Covid-19 among the usual problems created by Zanu PF and thought this year will be better but alas, I was wrong. This is just another sad Easter ladies and gentlemen. Another Easter without Easter eggs Cdes kkk. If you ask ama2000, many of them do not know Easter eggs. This is the situation that we have allowed ourselves to be in. It’s getting worse every day and besides commemorating the death of our saviour, the holiday is useless. Most people will not go to their rural homes for the holidays and those who will manage will go there empty handed kkk, ko inobvepi mari yacho. As we celebrate Easter ladies and gentlemen, let’s pray for unity, peace ahead of the elections. We are to divided ladies and gentlemen that is why vadzimu naMwari vakafuratira. Mwari haasvike pane vasingawirirane.
Have a blessed Easter and Uhuru till we meet again. Let me go kunokanga maputi angu kuChitima uko.