Mangudya, Mthuli taking us to 2008

Welcome back from Mozambique Mr President, I hope makasiya Mr Ibu Matemadanda vari bhoo. I hope you also had time to see our colleague Mandiita wefodya Chimene kkk and you brought some more whiskeys and narcotics from there coz ndokwazvinobikwa kkkk. I don’t know if we are still in your wet season or not but what I know is munomborohwa before going on stage kkkk. Chete ndogame racho, unotonzwa zvinombotaurwa kuti apa mukuru akabatwa apa. As we are preparing for the Independence Day, celebrating the independence that never was, I am sure you had time to visit Chimoio where our true heroes perished leaving the fake ones who are tormenting us now.
I hear war collaborators vetting is progressing smoothly ladies and gentlemen, since 1980 hatisati tapedza kuvetter vanhu kkkk. This is how backward we are as a nation. I heard our mothers and fathers are being bribed again this time around as we crawl towards 2023 yakadai kumirirwa nemunhu wese. Let me warn you ladies and gentlemen, don’t anticipate much in 2023, takambozviona in 2018 izvi. Everyone was saying come 2018, everything will be fine but alas, nanhasi tiri kuchema. Let’s not pin our hopes much on 2023 because we may be disappointed once again. Please don’t misquote me my avid readers, I am not saying the elections are not important, all I am saying is in all our hopes, let’s leave a small space for disappointment just in case it befall upon us kkkk. However, shoko ngarifambe, let’s register to vote ladies and gentlemen, whoever wins the next election should win zvine mutsindo, I am sure we have all been seeing kuti pane waizadza, so that should translate into votes.
Sorry to take you back a bit, let’s talk about vetting. This vetting exercise is just another vote rigging antic, havapererwi vakomana ava. So please let’s be wary of the fake promises imi ana mujibha nana chimbwido. They want to use you during elections then dump you like used condoms after all kkkk. That is why ini ndisina kuenda even though I died for this country. Ndakafa kudhara nenhamo ini. I deserve to be a hero ini. I hear the green bombers are back with a bang now. They are currently being recruited to replace ‘unpatriotic’ teachers kuCensus uko kkk. A number of teachers who had been recruited were suddenly dumped to pave way for the green bombers apa hapana chozikanwa kana. Most of them vange vakangogaraka so they will gladly accept the offer because there are some pecks there but hazviperere ipapo, they will pay back by victimising their brothers and sisters come 2023 kumaruzevha uko. That’s why tichiti dai mukomana ambosvikako.
We all agree kuti mukomana should at least visit maruzevha as he has been doing in the urban areas just to assure people that he cares for them. Yes, there is a reason why kubhora kune home and away, you can’t always play in the home ground. It is an advantage to score an away goal kkkk. However, it is our duty all urban dwellers who claim that the rural electorate is blind. Ko handi kumusha kwenyu, why can’t you go and preach to your family there so that they see light.
While the likes of Mwonzora are busy pondering on how they got Zeros and Ones at most polling stations in the just ended by-elections, then enter Mangudya with the intention of introducing the 100 dollar note. Mukatoti Mthuli naMangudya vanotombonyarawo here nhai? Hanzi tadiikowo nevarume vaviri ava. ED is taking Zimbabwe to the grave as alleged by Mavhaire, Mangudya is busy trying to take us back to 2008. How can they talk of introducing another denomination when we are in a process of dollarizing, isn’t that being an enemy of progress? We all know how our market reacts to such moves. Kutsvaka kukwidza Zupco ipapa kuendesa kuZW$100 from 70. Inflation will sky rocket chero Mangudya asinganyare kunyepa hanzi it won’t cause inflation. Zvakafanana nekuudza mwana kuti zora hurukuru haivave kkk. Kusanyara, in 2016 Mangudya said he will resign if the bond note fails which it did but he is still there. Why should we believe you Panonetsa now? Why do we need another denomination when the current ones are failing to work? The new note is not even enough to buy a loaf of bread, zvino chii ichocho? Apa they have since abandoned the auction system hanzi each bank can now do its own auction rate kkkk haya. No policy by the duo has ever benefited the people of Zimbabwe. Why not fire them nhai ED ukatodzosera Mr Bin senane. Fire Mangudya and Mthuli now tione zvinotevera.
Haa kanyika kano kakanokorwa tsoka neakafa aka believe me.
I heard CCC guys went to Parly vakapfeka mayellow ties, yes mhani, kuti yellow ndokuti goridhe kkkk. I am happy we now have some voices in parliament, people who can ask real questions not those who go there for sitting allowances. Biti can now make noise and take ministers to task kwete zvataiitirwa neteam rakasara iri. But on a serious note, these guys who won pamaBy-elections should take voters seriously, people voted for you to get into parly and contribute, debate not kuti munoimba nekubudiswa then after that you claim for allowances. The electorate should look at this issue, vanoita basa rekuimba should not be voted next time, vanoda kuimba pedzerai shungu kamaRally, in parly we need you to ask Mangudya to resign because he has failed the economy.
Before I go zvangu for my usual lunch yemabanana akaora nemaputi, let me urge people to register to vote especially women. Women and youth should support each other so that we get rid of all these Madhalas in council and parliament, vadhara ngavanozorora we need youth who are still energetic. Imagine in Zaka we have Cllr Mapuranga who has been there since1980. Ah that’s rubbish. Across the political divide, hatidi vanorambirapo. Ana Settlement kutoita settle kuMbizo uko same nanaChibaya kuMkoba its high time guys you finish your terms and leave the seats for others. Vakasaver two or more terms hatichadi in 2023 siirai vamwe and retreat to party offices moita whipping system muri ikoko. Zvimwe kopai chero kuZanu, ana Mpofu vakaiswa kuJongwe uko, we need fresh ideas in the parly.
But Guys I miss Dr Stop it, I hear Robert is aiming for a post kuYouth uko, kana women’s league kune vacany ipaiwo Dr Gire please kuMain wing tsvakiraiwo Mphoko akwanewo kkkk. Mukawana time please tell Tongai Matutu to shut up. Mboko Imboko!!!