Mthuli: Squeezing blood from stone

Ladies and gentlemen, it seems like the heat is conniving with Mthuli to just make the lives of Zimbabweans unbearable, because this past week’s temperatures, chii chakadaro? At least lately, Zesa had been paying for its sins ekuParliament emusi uya when it humiliated Ba Two soon after budget presentation. I am sure text message yakabva yasendwa ipapo ipapo kuti ngatisajairiranei vakomana, regerai, munokura maremara, kkkk. It just goes to show the state of affairs munyika, and it was such an embarrassing sight, seeing the First Citizen looking up, down, up again, then left right, and down again murima imomo. Zvakaoma hazvo. The government has failed in a number of fronts and the power provision is one of the worst since the Chivhayo Gwanda project zvinhu hazvina kuzombomira mushe kana ka1. Speaking of Weakness Chivharo, I used to think kuti mari iri kupiwa vanhu iyi nemota is from the compensation from ZESA but no zvine Vene mukati izvi. The guy is used to assemble a team of influencers come 2028 Zanu PF muoffice. It’s a team yevarakashi and vachadziimbira mota idzi kusvika vati eke. I know Zimbabweans are divided over the issue as usual, others are saying ana Baba naMai Charamba used to sing kuti Handidi kuti vana vangu vagamuchire zvipo zveumbabvha but kugocha kunoda kwaamai.They accepted gift from a thief, kudziya moto wembavha. But anyway enough of Chivhayo, remind me to talk about him next week and how he helped the rigging of Namibian erections, kkkk.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mthuli is coming for everything when it comes to taxing, haa the poor have no place in this country. Most of these harsh conditions and taxes mostly affect poor urbanites, those low income earners who are mostly struggling to make ends meet muInformal sector, apa ndovakawanda vacho. Vematable maTsungai nemuGulf vaya ndovanonyanyorwadziswa, kungoti 2cents dzapinda idzo Mthuli akutoda yake ipapo. Kungodya doughnut, the Minister of Misery, Zimbabwe’s Taxing Judas, Tax Collector of Sorrow, The People’s Punisher, The Tax Tsar, Chief Pickpocket, Professor Money Snatcher, Tax Us Ranger atosvika to get his percent. I was looking at the budget and the tax free threshold is just too low. I don’t know how much Mthuli thinks people are getting as salaries but the US$103 threshold is madness to say the least. A lot of the few formally employed vacho ndomari dzavanowana, but the hard-core antipoor capitalist that is Mthuli Ncube neBoys dzeSmoko will keep on squeezing a stone hoping blood will come out. There is no nation that has ever prospered through taxing its people, especially the poor like zvatiri kuitirwa nababa vemabhimbo madesigner ava. If you listen to Mthuli speaking or articulating economic things you will understand that he has such a low opinion of Zimbos, haatombotione like people who understand economics. The other day he was in fives and sixes trying to explain the gold-backed ZiG currency, hanzi what we meant is that pane gold ririkuseri kwemari rinogona kutengeswa, kkkk. That is why he is the face of the madness the Zanu government is dishing us day in and day out. If truly government was sincere about taxing fast food to reduce the health burden, why would Zanu use Chicken Inn to campaign? Worse still kumaruzevha where healthcare is literally in the gutters. So mati chembere dzamunopa maChicken Inn mahara dzife nemacancer acho nhai? Again, if only those taxes were channelled towards their intended uses mati taimbochema here? Manje we know that the looting machine that is musangano unotonga uyu have found another way of enriching themselves from the poor masses ko zvitsva here? On paper, the budget looks like it is inclusive, but miraika muone if the disbursements will be done on time. KuBEAM vakademba vakaneta, ugoshaya kuti is it bureaucracy or complacency or utsinye because if government really cared, it would follow up and make sure all these allocated funds are disbursed on time. If we were to follow where things will be stuck paya panenge pasiri kuuya mari, it’s probably one person who would be sitting on the paperwork—they do that because they know they can get away with it. Ibheke raTizirai kani. Dai mapolicy aya aitevedzerwa nyangwe ini chaiye dai ndisingagari munaMucheke because a functional economy takes care of its people, including us vagabonds of the nation, not mahumbwe atinoona aya. With all those taxes arikunzi tafutisa dai taita mafast foods mashoma, if only government would do a single project, one chaiyo, that will benefit people’s general health zvaifamba. In Zimbabwe you are always one hospital stay away from being a charity case, and we have normalized that hedu, ko todii when no one cares? Just look at the number of people who accompany Ba Two kumadiplomatic trips, and the allowances they get. I heard varikuroyerana matrips iwayo kumaMinistry uko because kudzoka munhu akanotenga Honda fit, that’s when you hear kuti hanzi hurumende haina mari, talk of misplaced priorities.
It is mostly the poor and low income earners who patronise mabetting house, and these days hameno akazoudza machembere kuti kunobhejewa, zvino ndoyotevererwa naMutuvi iyoyo, apa ngaikure percentage yacho. Hondo yaMurombo naChinenguwo yakaoma chokwadi muZimbabwe. Yes, there are some rich people who are betting zvekutodaro, but as of now, so many people, including civil servants and uniformed forces spend substantial amounts of time mumabetting house trying to escape poverty. Akatoonera Mthuli kuti kune mari kuya. Tirikutongwa nembavha, cross bhaibheri. Mthuli is anti-police sure, the officers constitute a large percentage of people who go to bet and after taxing them on their salaries, he wants to do a follow up kkk.
Guys, are you not tired as well nemaanticlimax eZanu factionalism? It’s like varikutyanana, because just when you think chaakuputika zvinongoita die a natural death. But I like it zvangu because ndokuti zvinyatsoita ferment, when it eventually happens tomboita a shift iri nani. But hanzi Bikita yashata, vanaRugeje varikutoda nezvaGenarari. I hear Ba Two recently commissioned 220 houses and gave away 54 cars to the defence forces. Imika imi, usiku haurire shiri, something is brewing. The 2030 bid inoda kugara wakagadzirira because one thing that I do not see any sense in is the pardon and grace being given to those who are pushing for it. ED has not once nor twice vehemently asserted that he is not interested in continuing after 2030, yet when provincial structures keep on singing the song, varikungoregwa, with some even being rewarded. We know that power is sweet and it corrupts, but it also gives paranoia, kurara wakavhura ziso one. Kudzinga tuhove tudiki vanaMushekwa muparty kuBikita uko ndomviromviro dzacho. Vanhu vacho varikutyanana kani, because whatever made Mavhenyengwa chaiye to defect from Chiwenga to the ED faction nekutosvika pakuti his province became the first one to endorse the ED 2030 mantra haa chihombe. I remember sometime in 2021 prior to him being elected provincial chair, whenever you would pass through paChiefs Hall apo you would hear Mavhenyengwa supporters chanting vachitukirira Chadzamira, calling him a thief, but here we are now. Let’s wait and see how it unfolds. Kasukuwere’s people are also supporting Dr Chandaizment, I don’t know if it’s genuine or they just want to find relevance. They tried to parade iye Kasukuwere wacho as some kind of savior, vanhu vakati asfuni bumbulu, we remember the terror this man brought madays aaimborira mumastreets. Hanzi hee Passenger 34, kkkk, imika imi mukwane mukawana nguva. Jonso wakangoti kwede zvake in Kenya, I guess he is even afraid of coming back because zviri kunetsa kani kuti faction wopinda ipi. But I know if he was still here daiso chakatoputika taakutotaura zvimwe, not ava who are afraid of each other.
Ko kuopposition uko murikuitana sei futi nanaFreeman Chari uko? The other day it was Ruhanya, now it’s Chari, I guess everyone is now seeing Nero as who he is, zvechipresident chenhema is all gone. The problem with these so called opposition activists is the entitlement nechiZanu. There is absolutely nothing new that they will bring to the table because they are just too entitled sezvinongoita mawar vet, who nomatter how bad things are, vanongoti takaifira nyika ino vachiumburudza tsoka muvhu nenhamo. I’ve realised that there are people who benefit from the mayhem yemuopposition macho and they do not want things to change, or even for an opposition president to be elected because they will lose relevance.
Anyway, let me go ndinokanga maputi angu zvangu for lunch, these days rotten bananas are the order of the day neheat iyi, just pray for me ndisaita mudumbu. Mazuvano zvakutotyisa kutaura kuti I survive on bananas that I pick mumabin because I may end up having all my vagabond friends being taxed naMthuli. If you guys see my good friend Runaida, ask her tiri kuita here anniversary ya2014 paya paakanzi zimuroyi reDotito naDr Gire or arikuvavarira kuita zvekwaMavhaire. But if you see Mphoko, tell him that zvaakuda kutoita through Mkwenyana, hang in there, asi huku ngadzimbomira dzinofa nezuva iri. Mboko imboko!