No Polad for the losers this time

Ladies and gentlemen, Mapombi comes to you with a heavy heart. I recently met someone kuno kuChitima whose RTGS salary has been reduced to only US$10. The devastation on that man’s face as he loitered in the stalls only to buy katsapo kemachunks would have moved Panonetsa and Mthuli’s hearts if only they had any. The thing manje is they do not have iya inonzi compassion. I saw Mthuli promising the people of Cowdray Park a ‘smart city’ kkkkkk, baba imi pengerai kwamaroiwa mazvinzwa. Smart City munoiziva imi, and you are clearly aware that you are lying, that’s why you stammer every time you speak about it. Nothing this man presides over succeeds; Barbican bank makauraya, now Zim economy naTrabablas wenyu murikuponda. I am only waiting to see how these people will spin the economy story in their campaigns. The horse has bolted nhaiwe Mthuli, Panonetsa naShefu wenyu wenyambo uyo. There’s nothing left in the stable, and once again you have managed to take us back to being the world’s laughing stock nezicurrency renyu rekupenga iri. If you watch or listen to Mthuli speaking, you can clearly see that the guy has no confidence in whatever he will be saying. Such a terrible liar, bva vachigoda here kutaura chokwadi. MaProfessor emunowo futi, kkkk. Mabook acho zvaanenge anotopusisa. Jonso is busy singing for his supper down there in a Kenyan village. Let’s see if Zanu readmits him, but those who know ED know that he always treads with caution nevanhu ava. He won’t take Jonso lightly kkkk, hanzi Jonso is someone who would even come at your funeral just to disturb you on your last day kkk. If you think I am lying ask Tyson. How many who defected from opposition has ED welcomed, yet there are those dismissed from Zanu whose voices have gone hoarse from shouting praises for him but vachingovapo pazhe. They say, if you are dining with the devil you have to have a very long spoon, unokuvara. Iye Saviour, Tyson WaBantu auya zvine mutsindo. Trust me ladies and gentlemen, there is serious panic in the corridors of power. Kasukuwere is bad news for these people because I can bet that the pain and humiliation of Operation Restore Regacy is still fresh in the minds of the so many G40s we have in the ruling party, who have been forced by circumstances to go with the flow. Kasukuwere commands a big following, believe it or not. Don’t forget him and Mliswa were simbi dzebasa in yesteryear Zanu in Mashonaland. That guy had usurped so much power, that’s why you see murikuitwa midumbu muZanu at the mention of Saviour’s candidacy. Ndabva ndafunga hama dzangu dzepaBikita apo Jeppy Jaboon nechimupostora chedu Nhenjana vachiimba ‘kumagumo kune nyaya’ mazuva aDr Gire. Yainaka power paya. Where are these two asi kkkk, if anyone sees them muti hanzi sei sei naMapombi. Anyway, back to Saviour, muZanu mapinda mhepo varume. They are quacking in their boots as we speak, and the only card they are left to play is to block him from filing his papers kuNomination Court either by arresting him or by finding any technicality that can work to their advantage. They know that Saviour is going to divide the Zanu vote, and that is a nightmare they never anticipated. Zvakangonakira isu vanaMapombi who know that Zanu neZanulite zvakafanana, ndedzemudanga. We all know Saviour’s track record, but if I may remind you, ndovakuru veIndigenisation zve vaya. Iye mukati haasi kutaimira Polad iyeyu? Mwari ave nemi varume imi, muchandotsva kudenga nemapolicy enyu akatiurayira industry iwayo.
But zvikafamba mushe ladies and gentlemen, ndaona 2 October tavhota futi. Not sure if Chamisa has a good strategy to counter the G40 effect, but haiwawo, Nero wacho is always busy saying ‘trinkets, trinkets’ kuTwitter uko, nothing more nothing less. He must have learnt the words recently because kungodai, ‘trinkets’ kkkk, bambo imika. On a serious note however, I don’t think taking this much time without revealing candidates is a good idea. People need to know their horses in time, because that instils confidence that indeed we are going somewhere. Remember you are working with protest vote here, and a large number of the people who will vote for you have no business following your internal party processes. All they want are the names, pachine time voitawo confidence kuti shuwa heino government in waiting. It begins to look like you are not yet ready to be in power. Iko muchitori ready here iyemi, because discord munoiwanzawo. Put your house in order, mazuva afamba. You can accuse Zanu of other things, but when it comes to preparing for elections they are far ahead. The other day mayouth were threatening rogue erements that are causing aram and dhispondency in the party vanaLunga, Mandebvu, Pindi Chakona nanaCharle Munyangaza, ah sorry Munganasa. Ungazoti ndivo vakatadza kuita maelections eyouth league vagwa paPoly apo gore riya, kkkk, kubudisirana rekeni kunge mafudzamombe. It’s called unity of purpose, even though the purpose is to continuously make people suffer for five more years’ munyika yaNehanda.
The opposition used to have a very vibrant youth league, where did they go? What exactly is happening in the yellow party? I hope leadership is not frustrating vana to an extent where they feel like hapana chekufira, vakutochembera pasina chabuda. Even all the vocal young activists are no longer as vibrant. It’s like they just made a collective decision to withdraw into their shells. Murikuitana sei uko? Zvotiwo team racho is too prone to being infiltrated, takazongonzwa vanaZvorwadza vonzi vatenga dzimba, but at least akarohwerwa zviripo. Kunorwadza kurohwa, worse being beaten by a police officer atoriwo nezhara dzake, kkkk. I won’t be surprised to hear that even the current selection of candidates is heavily infiltrated, handiti makazadza vanhu vaMai Mujuru here? And where did Mai Mujuru come from? Do you think those people vakadzura nemidzi kuZanu? Zvipindurei mega.
Mwonzora and his cronies’ kuti diii, mwiro zvavo vachidya yemarema. Makadya henyuka yenyika calling yourselves the main opposition muchiziva chokwadi. Izvezvi he is waiting for the disgruntled CCC members who are going to be booted out naChamisa when he announces a list of candidates who are loyal to him not the founding principles of the party kkkk. Chakavamirira chedu Togarasei, Dougie neIntegrity chikumbwe nembwambwambwa for those who grew up in the rural areas. Hazvionani. That goes for the Polad crew, this time no nhanzvi, kkk. Hamulume. There will be no crumbs for losers like what happened last time, VanaMadhuku zvamakadzingwa from your party kudai, hakusisina zvekudya nePolad. At least he has a good record in defending criminals so he is covered in that area. I never thought we would ever live to hear Madhuku being accused of failing to transform his movement into a political party. Mupolitics anything goes mufunge. At least vakamirira mamwe maPolad mabiyavo kuti mari dzidzikiswe neZEC. Ipapo bhoo.
Mapombi is happy at least that this time around the double candidates issue has been resolved from the top. Yes, ZEC has called for submission of proper signatories on nomination of candidates, not zvekuti wese ane pen can sign for a candidate of his or her choice. Ehe, her choice, Mai Kore uko mazvinzwa here? Mai Muchuchuti varipikowo? Varova. Also before I forget, don’t oppress women mumisangano umo. Inclusion please in your policies ndapota. I was not happy nekushomeka kwemafemale candidates in both main parties. But again, handiti Chamisa promised last year that he will be the sole signatory for candidates? 21 June is not too far tozviona then, but listen, this time hatisi kuda madrama. This time, I’m sure we won’t see people defecting pacourt apo, vanaMichael Taderera, I hope you accepted defeat kunomination process yeCCC yawakada, not kuzotengwa nemari kuti uite candidate pacourt nhaika.
Mapombi arikukuziva. ED came to Masvingo to meet first time voters, ivo vaya vaiunzwa nemalorry pamudzviti apo kuzotora zvitupa vozoregistiswa kuvhota maitirwe nyasha kkkk. At least you won’t have to worry about your meal kana vakuru vauya kudai, you’re given sadza, nyama nedoro. That’s what our young people have been reduced to. Our politics, power and elected leadership is all centred around kudya. MPs right now havanzwi munhu, even if they are to leave parliament tomorrow, they were greased enough; mota, maloans, mastands wozodei? Isu vanaMapombi tichikaura nawo mabanana akaora nechando chemuChimusana umu. At least this weekend I’m good, ED akauya ndakadyawo sadza rinopisa, asi imwi makarishaya? kkkk. Yandakashaya iicecream yaingopiwa everyone. apa ndanga ndaisuwa, ndakaiguma that day when Mahwende bought zvingoro zvese paChief’s Hall before primary elections. Anyway, regai ndinokanga maputi angu for lunch kusati kopisa. Mboko imboko!