Hands off Nero!

Ladies and gentlemen, now that the SADC craze is gone I hope you are keeping warm because it seems climate change has decided to give us an extension of winter. It seems as if our dear neighbour Zambia is also seeing flames in all colors due to climate change, which they are blaming for their outrageous load shedding, which I hear it’s now in the 17 hours-a-day phase. Hichilema probably could not iron his suit for the circus in Harare due to power cuts, which is probably why he could not attend physically, kkkk. You need to look dapper ka when you are among your peers, building castles in the air for the region you have all collectively robbed of their dignity. Zimbabwe, Zambia and South Africa have become notorious for being kuCherima, and here we only see Zesa during Christmas and maybe Heroes for us to hear Nzira Dzemasoja, as we watch Mhamha Auxy displaying her humility, bowing to any and everything on national TV as the mother of the nation, amai venyika chaivo. Apart from those two occasions, we were also swimming in 24/7 Zesa supply over the last weekend because of SADC, when Baba Two was ordained group leader of the regional bloc. I remember when I was still in Grade Five kwedu kwaChirimudombo, we sat in groups according to how we fared academically, and there was always that group that was known for clapping so loudly whenever the class will be instructed to do so, apa chaizikanwa dololo. When I saw Cupcake Ramaphosa grinning as ED walked around greeting heads-of-states at the summit, I was reminded of that. It was as if he was saying “wangu wechidhaka” to his buddy, like he had done something extraordinary. I told you guys, it is a complete circus.
Lately I have been seeing Tsvangison’s name being thrown around trying to discredit Chamisa on the Zimbabwean political landscape. You guys are so pathetically predictable, and I now see why sometimes I feel we deserve Zanu. I would like to ask one question in particular before I go any further: who in this country has the monopoly of leading the so-called revolution many are talking about? Ok, maybe that one is difficult to answer, so I will ask another one: who ordained Chamisa to be the sole custodian of rioting against the government? Kwanai kani imi. All those who are saying Chamisa stole Tsvangirai’s legacy, what is stopping you from doing the same if you are so capable? We heard Dhagi saying we shall all drive bango rake rake going to see mabhebhi, while using the same party called MDC-T, yet Chamisa is to blame for stealing Tsvangirai’s clout. The very same people who are on record for betraying Tsvangirai are the ones barking so loudly. It is also the very same people who, a few years ago were endorsing the ruling regime post-coup, threatening people and enjoying their proximity to power, tisataura hedu mazita vamwe ndivanaDaddy vedu. I laughed when I saw our dear elder Mudzuri joining the bandwagon of castigating Chamisa, kkkk, just the irony of that. Mudhara, instead of looking up to these youngsters, how about you also take the mantle of leadership and lead the people of Zimbabwe where you think they deserve to be? You are old enough Mudhara. That also reminded me of that time when he was questioned by Hwende and crew when he went to dine with Zanu at Statehouse. Trust our old man to misfire from time to time, it’s how he operates, but let me just tell all you cowards who still expect a miracle from the same Nero you have agreed is not fit to lead your revolution that you also can do it. If he did it, you can also did it. Evan Mawarire, a man of the cloth started ‘This Flag’ movement, which managed to bring citizens together, and almost led this country into a revolution, but what did you do with that? All we hear about is infiltration by the regime, this that, all the damn time! Promise Mkwananzi should also know better because he was involved in the Tajamuka movement, together with the likes of Zvorwadza, who we hear now owns a house in the UK. That is the biggest blight of Zimbabwean political activism; you people do it for the money, nothing else. Most, if not all of those castigating Chamisa have no moral high ground of doing so, with how dirty your hands are, and you are dining with the very same regime you claim you want to fight. Too many skeletons in your cupboards for you to be saying all this nonsense. Tisiirei zvedu Zanu itonge because you lot are just jealousy and full of malice towards the very same people you think have the spine to lead the opposition. Right now we don’t even have people in parly that we can trust with keeping government in check. Who can we say is actually giving Zanu headaches right now in CCC? Zanu factions are actually doing more when it comes to exposing each other than the dormant opposition, vanaDhagi vaizhinya pano neuko varikuSADC. Kusekwawo naValerio who said she would not stoop that low and sanitize the façade by attending the Summit.
At least Chamisa is known for claiming that ‘God is in it’ and throwing irrelevant bible verses here and there, but we cannot deny that he has a solid followership, even though some of them behave like cultists. Tsvangirai knew better when he brought him closer to the presidency towards his death, because MDC at least got a bit of a lifeline ichizongofawo zvayo nevakauraya vaya. Hate him or like him, Chamisa still has some political capital very few politicians in this country have. Facts are that stubborn. His charisma cannot be disputed, even by those who consider him an enemy, that is why in Zanu slogans they still say ‘pasi naChamisa’ because they know he is still very relevant and a threat to the establishment. They cannot even bat an eyelid over CCC because it is now yesteryear’s news. I doubt Zanu would dare invite Chamisa-led councillors to attend Chitepo School of Ideology sessions—they took their chances with this empty shell called CCC because it will be no surprise if they actually attended. Yes, there are people who support Chamisa, who behave like dunderheads, but that does not take away from the fact that kanorira kamuface kaye, with his zero leadership qualities like that. Leave Chamisa alone please, divide the labour of your revolution amongst yourselves, no one is holding anyone back, no one has the monopoly over inhaling teargas or entitled to police water cannons. Also, I don’t think jails have filled to capacity, ask Jobho who came out thinking he had been ‘Madibarised’, or Mako, even Kurauone, they know better.
Let me go ndinokanga maputi angu zvangu for lunch and drink water, these days the water in Mucheke is too dirty, kuChitima tanzwa nekunhuhwirwa, I don’t know what EMA and council are planning about that. Councillors are obviously blind to that as well, vangatii havo vanaZishiri if they are not selling out purported demonstrators to Zanu machinery? Alaica akazongoti hake she will sort out ‘vhest biolence’ and providing service ‘deliverance’ when she was inaugurated so maybe she is busy with that. I hope Masimba is now used to council feasts and is no longer burping loudly on microphones, kkkk.
If you guys see my friend Mphoko, tell him that SADC is now at home, he can go report about the 2017 coup and get power back by just catching a bus to Harare. Until next week, Mboko Imboko!