It is time!

Ladies and gentlemen this week has been dramatic as usual in the corridors of power, vakuru decided to proclaim the election date. Do you still remember ndichikuudzai kuti maelections ariko munaAugust between 20 and 25, mukati Mapombi anozivei. Here at Chitima we come across information that is relevant to the goings on, that’s why you see me speaking with authority on these issues. Vakaita launch silly season zvavo Cde Trabablas when most of you were busy complaining kuti zvanonoka, as if you have a plan for the future kkkk. What I am sure of right now is kune vane headache because now it’s no longer child’s play. Chatochaya. I saw brand new cars maGD6 branded with musangano colours, handiti maiti Ambassador at Large Angel vainyepa when he said ED has hundreds of millions of yuwesi dollars, mari chaiyo chaiyo to run this campaign? Yes, he said it when he was busy running his mouth in the Gold Mafia documentary. I also heard he promised aspiring MPs whose votes will be lower than the presidential votes in their constituencies that they will be generously rewarded. Handiti you know how he rewards? Muchavaona vamwe vava maMinister makangoti undundu, kkkk seka hako Mapombi. Remember in 2018 elections there were areas where an MP would garner massive votes apa mutungamiri wenyika akarohwa zvinosetsa mbavha yakavanda. This time hapana kumira mushe because even those who knew how to campaign for him were humiliated in primary elections. Let’s see if the dzungu boys and girls vakapinzwa neFAZ will do it. Ko August kure here,kkkkk.
Mapombi is disappointed in some of these youths. Honestly, if you are not bussed or ‘lorried’ kunge majecha to go and register to vote mega you won’t see the need? Sometimes I am tempted to think that Zimbabwe deserves its leaders. Especially those from urban areas, yet you claim to be more enlightened. You are always busy sharing and forwarding manude pictures anaMai Titi yet you are not even registered to vote. You are not even participating in discussions on economy or politics. Mapombi, a vagabond, is even registered to vote, even if she is of no fixed abode, zveproof of residence handiti ndogara kuChitima? Go to rural areas; that’s where you will see what is called the real electorate. Those people participate, nyangwe hayo participation yavo tichiziva its results. But they will continue deciding for you, imi muchikanga waya, ivo vachipihwa mbeu nefood aid. Let us seek knowledge ladies and gentlemen, because if you say you don’t do politics, politics will do you regardless. Marates haanei nazvo izvozvo zvekuti you are a coward who does not want to vote.
One reason why I was happy when ED proclaimed election date was that finally we will get the final list of CCC candidates. I don’t know if it’s a strategy or what but dzimwe secrecy dzacho munozodziwanza. I am told the CCC house is also on fire nemafactions, because old guard has over the years built the entitlement yekuti takaifira nyika iyi. You won’t be surprised to see the likes of vanaZwizwai wanting to come back, kupi kunoendwa, all these years murimo what did you do? You should learn to give others a chance, riri iro donzvo remusangano unopikisa. Let’s see if Nero manages to contain it and prove CCC as an alternative come August 23. Power corrupts ka. I won’t be surprised kusangana nawo mamwe maprinciples emusangano akakandwa muChimusana umu, kkkk. Inonzi power iyi.
How far with the 4ED affiliates? I heard Vapostori neMaZion 4ED had a convention in Harare recently. Munojairira vanhu imimi. How can you hold that convention in Harare iyo Mbungo iripo here in Bikita? You have no respect for Bhishopi Nhemia handiti? Mapombi would have wanted to attend that convention and have a feel of how it is being in close proximity to power. Anyway, join the other 4ED lunatics tione pa5 million votes apo.
But you guys tell me, what is so wrong with patriotism? Why is everyone frothing on the mouth vehemently opposing a law that outlaws unpatriotic tendencies? Kkkkkk, Mapombi is intelligent, so she can be sarcastic when need be. Right, let me answer these questions myself: If you find yourself as a country wanting to pass a law that forces people to be patriotic, zivai kuti mazvikonewa. Kana baba vaakumanikidza vana to speak only good of him, just know kuti mudhara wacho imboko. There is nothing wrong with being patriotic, but when it’s now forced on people it means dissenting voices are going to be silenced and you know how. Another thing that baffles me is the appetite to push for the enactment of these laws. Why do we need them if we are so good at governing nhai hurumendewee? Even if we are going to have the best laws in this teapot shaped country, you all know where the problem is. We have a history of state apparatus being used to silence people, and that has set a bad precedence. You are not honest in anything, the probability of integrity is 0,0001 percent. Muchikaranga tirikuti umbowo hwekutendeka hapana. Nhaka hangu ndini ndichatangwa nePatriotic Act, bva hanya nani? Kana basa nazvo, kusiri kufa ndekupi. At least ndikaenda kujeri ndonochinja diet yemaputi nemabanana akaora. Sikhala is languishing ariko wani. Tichazara ikoko. Iyo ichingotongwa nevene.
When Mliswa lashed out about FAZ soon after primary elections, most of you thought he was just angry that his sister had been defeated. Anopenga hake Temba but kazhinji haapotse. This FAZ ladies and gentlemen is going to mess with electoral integrity, mark my words. I’m told some of their agents were seen loitering kuvoter registration and inspection centres a few days ago. This thing is bigger than we thought ladies and gentlemen. Let’s hope it won’t be linked to political violence because memories of 2008 and 2018 are still fresh. We don’t want to be reminded of long and short sleeves, nor do we want to relive August 1, 45 degrees memories. We want peace veduwe ndapota hangu.
Now that we are in full election mode, let’s wait and see how the economy will react. At least we know that politicians will shake their pockets because ndozvavajairaka zvevote buying. Even the electorate ndozvavatojairawo that’s why they participate only if there is a token. Pane matshirts atichakupai!!! Pane matshirts! Kkkkkk. Medu muno muMasvingo we know that a few constituencies will go kuopposition if CCC plays its game well. The only challenge with CCC manje is ndivanamusvuuganda, they don’t have the resources required to do a real campaign chaiyo chaiyo that will get them the votes. Even those t-shirts we were talking about, havatorina avo, kkkkk. Kungofamba. Hanzi naJonono Musorobhangu kuvhima nemunyu muhomwe. But even if you say Fadzi was wrong in speaking bad about Zimbabwe kuGeneva Summit uko, how then are you justified when in the middle of a press briefing muroad, riot police is seen threatening and harassing her, including journalists? If you saw that video clip, I am sure you saw the fear on her face, kkkk, musikana wakaita kunyunguduka achipinda mumota, kurohwa kunorwadza veduwee.
Regai ndinokanga maputi angu for lunch ndichinhuhwirwa nesewage yepaChimusana. Chamisa said all that will be a thing of the past. Hanzi roads will have several lanes, uchibuda muroad uchiramba uri muroad, kkkkk, muface uyaka. I am consoled zvangu by the fact that in a few weeks’, if not days’ time I will be floating in free food as politicians start doing rallies. Nhaka tichapuhwa nemachira. Gara zviya how much is a loaf of bread going for munana OK? Muchati eke. Mboko imboko!!