Mapombi is really in a jovial mood, for the first time since the November 2017 coup, and this is a sign that good things are coming. I know that not so many of my readers would believe that better days are coming especially on the backdrop that they had a bleak Christmas and New Year. Aaaah iko kutaurisa kwangu kukanganwa kuti compliments of the new season dear reader! I wish you a prosperous 2025. May our enemies of progress fail dismally this year in the name of the Almighty God. E-eh e-eh ngatisataura mazita please I’m hearing some people whispering Mthuli’s name aah ini handina kudaro; ndamboti Mthuli here ini or I just said enemies of progress? Ini ndiri kungoti Dambudzo ngarive shoma mugore ra 2025 – zvamurimi muchatizve ndataura zita remunhu.
Enough of this, can someone tell me what is happening in this teapot country? I heard there is brisk business these days as people are selling walking sticks following the extension by government of retirement age to 70 years. Hanzi civil servants who were preparing to retire varikutenga midonzvo kwete zvekutamba yekuti vashandise vachienda kubasa. Kkkkkkkk haaa zvemu Zimbabwe zvinokunda ngoma kurira chokwadi. We have over 80% youths not formerly employed but the government is busy extending retirement age to 70 years, really? What are we trying to achieve here as a nation? With all due respect, this is hogwash. Nonsensical! Mumaworkshop nemumameeting avanoswerera aya they won’t be cooking nyama ine mabhonzo because inotsengwa nani, vasharukwa vanenge vasisina meno kkkkkk nhaka mahotera achabika nyovhi nemuboora akazvirega or else kutobika mvumvira because vana musharukwa vasisina meno vangadii ivo vari paWorkshop.
At one point Mapombi was tempted to think that Ngwena is overrated. Who would surely extend the years of service to 70 years? Kuda kuti vanhu vafire pamabasa here senge ma politicians? Bva kana kuriko kungwara kwacho bva ndiregei zvangu ndife ndichigara pano paChitima eating maputi and rotten bananas. I am very much contend with this kind of life than depriving a young generation because we want to please old people who are supposed to be enjoying retirement. Old people need better retirement packages not extension of retirement age Mr President woye. Chete these days because of succession fights we might be blaming ED yet zvakatoitiwa zvazvo nerimwe team kuti Murambwi vashorwe zvavo.
Anyways, let me divert my attention to other issues but before I do that let Mapombi encourage all the youths vasina mabasa kuti endai mundohodha tsvimbo dzakawanda dziri pa demand zvekutodaro because Harahwa neChembere zvakanzi zviende kubasa. But issue of succession is now getting to another level. All Mapombi can tell you is that Ngwena means serious business. The way the command elements in the security sector are being retired and fired haaa hazvina kumira mushe ba! Godwin Matanga gone! Isaac Moyo gone! But I am sure someone told someone kuti kuArmy hakumihwe mihwe unochohwa chohwa kkkkkkkk Or probably it’s a calculated move? Mapombi heard Phillip Valerio Sibanda contract was renewed up to November 24, 2025 ikoko. That was a strategic move because the mumbles from the barracks anga oda kuita achiwedzera volume, now imagine with Valerio out of the picture, haa daiso takutotorwa maselfie muroad nanaGeneral Bae nanaFadzi Mahere. The stakes are becoming higher and higher ladies and gentlemen, because the 2030 agenda is becoming more aggressive by the day.
Mapombi can safely tell you that chero 2030 ikasasvika zvayo but the next president of Zimbabwe will be surely from that camp – pamwe ndi Tagwirei who knows. Kkkkkk vakuru vakati chati homu chareva uye vamwe vakaudzwa hondo nemurwere wepfungwa vakamushora hanzi anorwara. It’s just that Mapombi is not prepared to wear that Apolo jersey rekuzopfekwa naChipanga gore riye otherwise I would have gone deeper nayo. Maybe another day.
Did anyone notice that VP Chiwenga is no longer trusted that much because of these succession issues. We all know that the President is on his annual leave this whole January ka, and the two vice presidents would be exchanging the role of Acting President. Mapombi noticed that Kembo Dugish was given almost three weeks – from 1-19 January as Acting President but Chiwenga only get 11 days – from 20-31 kkkkkkkkk this is very telling. Mapombi just want to tell those who care to listen kuti kindly monitor the movements and activities of the President from around January 20 when Mukanya will be acting. I can tell you that chances are very high that there will be a lot of events and official opening of even little projects just to disturb Chiwenga. We will see donations being received at State House, roads being opened, Chinese containers and stuff being officially opened. I can tell you that our public broadcaster will be overwhelmed by these stories zvekuti kubuda kwaChiwenga pachivhitivhiti maybe ku entertainment or sports segment kkkkkkkk.
Let me not say much otherwise Mapombi will be accused of yep yepping but those who know me I have a proven track record rekutaura zvinouya. Dr Grace ndakambovaudzxa kuti chingoma kana choririsa choda kuparuka manje zvino varipi? Ko passenger 34 kana kedu tsuro magen’a Walter Mzembi? And the Professor? Kkkkkkk but life so ka ma1 – who thought Jonathan Moyo would run away kundogara uri mupoteri ini zvangu Mapombi ndichimalaza maBanana akaora nemaputi ndirimo munyika yaBaba va2. Zvinhu zvinoshanduka vakomana and it only tells us one thiung that no one is invincible, chero Ngwena chaidzo one day gava rinodambura musungo ndozviziva hangu ndakazvidzidza Nov 2017.
But for now ED is firmly in charge and as I’m speaking right now some Ministers and senior government officials are having their last supper. I mean they are looting kekupedzesera because anytime they are going – ko ED zvekudzinga haanonoke. Those who crossed to join General Bae’s faction are going. We have seen the warning shots kkkkkk hanzi namatanga handina kumborambira pachigaro ini im going to become full time farmer now kkkkk baya wakanyarara iwe. Mapombi anotongonamata kuti zvitadzo zvako zvisakuteverera chete. Mapombi is sure that ED is determined to fire all those who are blocking agenda 2030, all those who betrayed him by crossing the floor to support Number 2 will go home. Mapombi is giving them up to February to loot kekupedzesera because there is no going back . Mukati vana Machakaire vanosara ipapa kkkkkkkkkk.
It’s almost lunch time, let me go ndindokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch ndobva ndarova zvangu rotten bananas as desert. I know many people laugh at me because of the kind of life I am living but all I can tell you is that I am in this mess because of Zanu PF. My parents were killed by Zanu PF in 2008 for supporting Morgan Tsvangirai (may his soul rest in peace) but Mwari vakandichengeta ndikatoendawo kuchikoro kusvika kuUniversity of Zimbabwe yenyu iyi ichashamisira but basa cant get. Asi Zanu so, kutonga nyika until everyone becomes a beggar. Right now government is busy begging for beds to accommodate madrug addicts’ enyika, yet the druglords are known. Munhu wese angodhakwa kunge nyika yacho, nyika inenge rombe. Zvinhu zvacho hazvina kana order. We see Zimra following people in shops for smuggled goods, ko kuborder zvakambopinda sei? Ko muroad mese umu? That’s when you realize kuti tirikutongwa nembavha. Ivo Chitova Mushayazano kubva vati diii zvavo, kunge vasipo. Zig failed dismally, shasha ndobva yati kwakaa zvayo like he wasn’t there when this useless thing was introduced. Not even a sound when Mthuli stole Christmas in broad daylight.
Anyway, before I go kunokanga maputi angu for lunch, let me go ndinomira pahighway apoo, these days motorcade yaBaba Two irikupota ichionekera vachifurwa nemhepo zvavo, handiti he is on leave? Don’t worry, I will just stand ndichiyeverwa, I will not get in trouble, ndinganunurwa nani hangu? Iringuva yaBhobho I would not dare, taitotyanana even kudzimba, no one could be trusted. Baba MaTwins changed a lot of things guys, hameno General Kedha vachaita seiwo. Who knows, maybe Ngwena will soon have his last supper, but who will be on the menu, we will have to wait and see. See you soon team rangu, otherwise mboko imboko!!
