What’s next maCdes?

Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you with a heart full of gratitude. Yes, I have gratitude to those who came out in their numbers to exercise their democratic right of casting their votes. Makazviita through all adversity, ZEC isingatodi hayo nawo maballot papers seHarare, Mutare neBulawayo but I saw videos of people holding it up variko kupolling station pakati pahwo. I even saw some cdes who brought mabraai stand kuzogocherapo papolling station, kudos guys kusanganisira Andy Muridzo. ZEC inozombosvotesawo zvayo kana mazogara. But besides that, the determination to vote that was exhibited by many was worth it. Zvezvakazobuda musarudzo yatova imwe nyaya, kkkkkk. This week yese if body temperatures were tested mumadhorobha maaverage were going to range kuma38 degrees zvichikwira; Zanu chiororo varume.
Kwedu kuChitima kuno ndaingonzwa vanhu vachitura befu crossing Chimusana bridge. Kwasara dzimwe few days kuti titange dzimwe five years kkkkk. What I noticed hangu sedistant observer in this election was the uncertainty in the air for many players. There were some who were so confident that this time even those in rural areas were going to shock musangano urikutonga. Kozoitawo vamwe vatorimo mumusangano who were running their mouths dissing vakuru vavo thinking election ichaenda nepamwe. I heard it all ndiriko kuno zvangu kuchitima, zvemazita ndozvinei. The truth of the matter is FAZ yakabata basa in intimidating voters—deny it all you want but we all know the truth. We have a history of a party that terrorised people in rural areas makore aya, especially 2008, and those memories will forever haunt vabereki kumusha uko. If institutions were to be rewarded according to their performance in this election, with me adjudicating, FAZ ndaiipa 103% kkkk. Don’t ask me about ZEC, you know that it is overqualified in those things. Hanzi naMark Ngwazi dzimwe nzendo taurai madzoka. Those who have ears have heard. When you think you have seen it all, Zimbabwe says hold my beer, let me show you. Huye bodo!
Ok, now moving on macdes, why are you insulting each other as if we haven’t experienced events of the past two weeks numerous times? Why are you promoting hate speech against each other nezvinhu zviri pachena? Pasocial media, Masvingo is being bashed left, right and centre because apparently it got ballot papers on time and voted the way it voted. Imhosva here? Kana iri mhosva, Mapombi will apologise on behalf of the whole province, sorry kwacho. Some were even saying havachatumira magroceries kumusha because their parents voted for musangano unotonga. I don’t think that is it ladies and gentlemen. Things could be totally different on the ground. Do you not think that it is deliberate for this government to limit information in rural areas so that your fathers and mothers keep thinking there will be cctv cameras in polling stations? To you zvitori normal that these outrageous cases of voter intimidation keep happening? Mazvionaka?
Then there is that other yellow party—babanguwee!!If I was the adjudicator of all things confusion that party was definitely going to score much better than 44% yavakapihwa neZEC. They were busy congratulating each other for winning national assembly and local authority seats in an illegitimate election, pedzezvo you claim you were rigged. You should have outrightly rejected the whole election tobva taziva kuti zvaendwa. Nzwiraiwo tsitsi majournalist ekuHarare veduwe pamapress conference apa. Those people haven’t slept properly for a long time. Chingotii gagaga zvipere not all this helter skeltering and hullabalooing; don’t worry about my new obsession with big words. I’m under the influence of Mutsvangwa who we all saw frothing on the mouth responding to SADC as if he is ZEC itself. If you see Nevers Mumba please give that man a Bells, he deserves it. This time SADC yakapedza masports. Kurova chidhoma kusvika mai vacho vabuda voga pachena, kkkkk. Varume vakuru kupupa furo, even bringing newspapers as exhibit to a press conference as if it’s a court of law. Kutouya nemaannexure manje, baba mukwane imi mukawana nguva. Ukuwo Jonso busy writing compositions on social media trying to convince us how bad Chamisa and crew are. Hativerengi isu matakanana iwayo, kuti tadii nezhara iyoyi. The guy is really singing for his return. Zimbabwe igoridhe iyi baba, chinyika chinonaka ichi. Bvunzai Scott Sakupwanya who clearly told his supporters that he shares Gold Mafia proceeds with them haadhli oga, despite being Mabvukued. Mwari ave nemi vanhu veMabvuku kkkk.
Coming back to Masvingo, nhai Wakura unorevereiko nhema uchikusha disinformation on social media? Do you know how many people are thrown into panic mode nedzimwe nhema dzamunospreader? The other day I couldn’t even come out of my shack kuno kuChitima after I heard that there were tankers making rounds in town. I thought August 1 2018 had returned, and knowing how shameless this system is ndakati unongopfurwa pakangova pasi. Wanike ndiWakura nemafriends ake vanaWezhira Munya vari kuspreader havo fake news. Propaganda hadzizodi kunyanyodaro hanzvadzi dzangu, zvidzorei. Aram and dhispondenzi haina kumbonaka veduwe. Where is Mandla nhai comrades and friends? We are tired of waiting please while Pachedu and ZEC are daring each other zvisingaperi. Tinzwireiwo tsitsi, we want to pack our bags on time tiende kunurse aid and go where everyone is going. Former Mayor Fidze vakatoenda with family, vanaKurauone havachatodzoki vaya, isu ndisu vamunoda kuti tigarirei? Hapana chembwa vatenzi vakararira mutakura.
Whilst on that, on election day I found out that our government when it comes to shame it’s at the rock bottom. Right in the presence of international observers and media, they raided local observers, arresting a large number of people in the process. Varume makamedza nyadzi mukadzikisa nemvura chete imi. What was that? Ko iyo police, kutonyora statement after statement muchivhuna chirungu taking part in such buffoonery? Kana tazogara, let’s just know kuti we are on our own. And we are in hot soup. Tiri parumananzombe hama dzangu.
Masvingo yakazviita zvakare! But ladies and gentlemen, who do you think will make it into ED’s next cabinet from Masvingo? Mutodi sailed through paBikita apo, but ndeuyazve wekumbosvipwa paya from hudeputy minister saka I doubt. It is a good thing that he won because he will not find time to make more music; our ears will be saved from bleeding after listening to his music. Nguva yekuswerozhambatata nekutamba ndombolo panenge pasisina because duty will be calling, kkkkk, seka hako Mapombi. Band rotosarazve richifa nezhara vatenzi vadzokera kuparliament. Who else do you have in mind ladies and gentlemen? Fingers crossed, hatishaye vaviri vatatu.
And again, who do you think is going to be the next Masvingo City Mayor? Chegore iro! 2018 hanzi huku dzakazodyiwa neveraini after zvaramba Maboke atiza nechimuti. But gona ana gona wakewo; Maboke was shown real politics last week, ko vanhu veMasvingo Urban vanombozvida here izvozvo, kkkk. We have a number of new faces in council and I hope it will be more exciting. Very soon we will be seeing them moving from slippers to D4Ds. If there is one thing Zimbabwean politicians learn so quickly, it is corruption. Mapombi will be waiting to give you the juice and tea about those developments. Houno ndiripano.
Let me go ndindokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch. I have so many tales to tell about recent happenings, and now that the inauguration has been confirmed zvatovharana. Anyway, Mboko imboko!