You are offside Mr President

Mapombi is baffled! I was shocked to say the least, and still, I cannot believe our Mr President is the one who uttered those words. Haa ndofunga he was misquoted ini. With how our government is reluctant to implement reforms especially electoral reforms, I don’t think President Mugabe will have the audacity and tenacity to threaten to pull out of the United Nations (UN) simply because the organization is reluctant to implement certain reforms. Kkkkkkk inga dindingwe rinonaka richakweva rimwe chokwadi.
Mapombi wonders if it is the same President Mugabe whose government has been giving a deaf ear to a call for electoral reforms by opposition political parties, who is now being vocal on the need for UN reforms.  All along Mapombi thought the word ‘Reforms’ do not exist in Zanu PF and its government’s vocabulary.
Well, Mapombi now knows that Zanu PF and Mugabe know the meaning of the word but are reluctant to implement the electoral reforms. There have been series of demonstrations by opposition political parties under the National Election Reform Agenda (Nera) banner, demanding electoral reforms but our government professed ignorance over the matter. They totally ignored the call for electoral reforms but surprisingly, Mr President wants UN to implement certain reforms and even threatened to pull out if the organization ignores his call. Kkkkkk charity begins at home Mr President; it’s very important that a leader always lead by example. Zimbabweans are calling for electoral reforms and please implement that before you call UN to do the same.  Instead of implementing electoral reforms, you are busy setting your police on innocent souls – vana vevanhu vanzwa nemateargas and baton sticks simpley because they peacefully demanded electoral reforms. Hahaha forget! And that will be a big mistake to pull out of UN – we need the organization more than it needs Zimbabwe. Nemiwo mapurisa dzungu munoriwanza how can you beat up people who are calling for a noble cause?
On the police issue, Mapombi might not understand much about health and hygiene since I stay at a filthy Dr Grace Mugabe Trading Centre, but mapurisa mava kuzvinyanya. Kuregeredzwa chaiko. Mapombi has since discovered that every place where police man their roadblocks is dirty. Go at Panyanda and see for yourself, along Harare and Mutare road as well. The officers are bribed nechikafu nemvura dzemumabhodhoro and they litter the places. Buses are temporarily confiscated Panyanda apo and passengers often relieve themselves paroad ipapo. Nxaaaa where is this organization which often cares about the environment when it involves a big company ine mari dzemuwando? I mean the Environmental Management Agency (EMA) – where are you? Endai mundoona tsvina irikuitiwa nemapurisa pama roadblocks apo kwete kusweroteverera maFiling Station mutown umu. Anyway, what else can we expect from these inferior educated cops?
Back to my issue, Mapombi tried but in vain to figure out what has gotten into the mind of President Mugabe. Do we really need to pull out of UN? Is this really going to benefit Zimabwe in any way? Gariswa munotozivawo kuti kune mareforms which should be implemented? Let us start with electoral reforms and thereafter we will rally behind you when you push for reforms at UN. But for now, you are fighting a lone battle Mr President – muUN hatibude zvekumhanya!
By the way, what happened to Kasukuwere’s land issue? Comrades from Team Lacoste can you please answer me? Kasukuwere wakazonziiko nenyaya yemastands aanonzi akapa prophet Magaya? Kkkkk Mapombi once told you kuti muchenjere kufarira n’anga neinondobata amai. I knew nothing, I mean absolutely nothing was going to happen to Kasukuwere – ko mungandiudzira zveZanu PF here ini.  As long as one is in the Gushungo 40 (G40) basket, one will be very safe – at least for now. But don’t forget kuti Mudhara vachauya! Kkkkkk the Crocodile of course.
Anyway, Mapombi has mixed feelings over the issue of Bond Papers; I mean Bond Notes. For us who generally viewed as mad people in town, mazipaper iwaya akatinakira because civil servants will throw them away easily and we can buy rotten bananas. But for normal people – I mean those who wake up every morning and take a bath vachiti tiri kuendawo kubasa these Bond Notes are disastrous.  Haashande mapaper iwaya and Mapombi heard some foreign investors are already withdrawing their real money (United States Dollars) vachichengetera mudzimba in fear of Bond Notes.  Mind you these Bond Notes are part of ZimAsset kkkkkkk.  Mapombi is very sure Zanu PF will blame sanctions if the Bond Notes fail to perform on the market. Even Britain and America will be blamed if local people reject the Bond Notes. The whole people influenced by Britain and America? Even those in Zanu PF? Haa do not overate America and Britain mhani – it’s the people who do not want Bond Notes and there is no external force apa.   Just know that your, either Bond Papers or Notes, haadiwe and people will reject them except for vana Mapombi who will at least use them to buy rotten bananas at Dr Gire trading Centre. But hupenyu hwaoma vakomana rotten bananas are hard to come by these days.
But I never thought my 2013 vote would cost me this much – kuitiswa rombe rekupedzesera nevanhu vandakavhoterawo akomana. People like Kasukuwere are enjoying rifa renyika and he is dishing out stands to close friends and vana Magaya. Bva tese tichapera kuita maporofita kuda tingapiwawo ma residential stands. Asi wakaoma wena Tyson – ndibate ruoko haute umwe wangu ndakutya ini. Ende hapana zvavanokuita chero Gushungo chaivo and hapana zvavanokuita. Hehehehe modya henyu zvemarema kwedu kwaChirimudombo vakavhota vachifa nenzara.
In December you are coming again to Masvingo for the Zanu PF conference mugodyazve takatarisa like you did pabirthday ramudhara. We will be there at the Show grounds waiting for left overs asi tichasangana hedu. I will come with all poor and starving families at Chingwizi so that we can feed on left overs.  Zanu PF will again spend hundreds of thousands at the conference and they don’t care about starving families in Zaka, Mwenezi, Chiredzi and Bikita. Mugaro mwena vakomana ukautevedza unoguma!
It’s almost lunch time; let me go ndindokanga hangu maputi angu for lunch but hey hapanawo here ungandipawo 10 Bond ndimbotengawo freezit kwazopisa manje. Before I go, Mphoko is quiet these days mukati ariko here kuhotera? Kkkkkkkkk ndaifunga kuti vanhu vane mhumhu vane njere izvo the opposite is true kkkkkk. Mboko imboko!mapombi