Monday, September 20, 2021
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Back by public demand


I
have heard your cries and Iistened to your concerns dear readers. Mapombi being
a listening President ahhh sorry I mean to say writer, I have decided to avail
myself to you every week. Some may say Mapombi has become over ambitious to
dream of being the President of this country but I ask why not? Varume
varatidza kuti havazvigoni izvi. It’s time for Mapombi to take over. This
country now needs a mother’s touch. Madzimai muriko here uko. It has been
hectic for Mapombi to be consistent over the past months because of this
lockdown but ikozvino tsamba yavapo mutown muya ndakupinda manje. Zimbabwe is
said to have an over 90% unemployment rate but tsamba dzine vanhu
dzekwavanoshanda unoshaya kuti zviri kufamba sei kkkk. Covid-19 yakaunza mabasa
here. Munhu wese ane tsamba yekubasa woshaya kuti saka vanhu vanochemei. Regai
Zanu itonge because payakangoti lockdown, munhu wese atova nebasa overnight
kkkk.

Mapombi
does not have a roof over her head because our beloved city fathers have
destroyed kumba kwangu kuChitima. Vakaputsa putsa misika yose zvekuti chero
mabanana akaora hakuchina kana rimwe. Unfortunately I do not have a mobile
phone I could have told our Finance minister Mthuli Ncube to send me some of
the Covid money iya yainzi inopihwa kune vanotambura. Did anyone receive that
money by the way? The last I checked I heard Mthuli chichiti kwaita some data
capture errors what what after chamboti they used a sophisticated algorithm to
capture the data of the beneficiaries. Saka what was sophisticated ipapa nhai
Mthuli. I do not want to waste my time on this man otherwise blood pressure
yangu will go up. Unfortunately for us, all those big words from Mthuli’s goofy
mouth taste so sweet in the ears of our beloved President Cde Commander
-in-Chief  Dambudzo Mnangagwa. Mthuli
lies so much and Mnangagwa listens and takes notes. What is wrong with you iwe
Emmerson. Please wake up and smell Mthuli’s lies. People hate you Mr President
mostly because of the acts of the people surrounding you. Dismiss Mthuli today
and I guarantee you that 2023 you will not have to campaign, victory will be
guaranteed. Mufaro wakaitwa nevanhu muna November paya pamakaita coup
unodarikwa if you fire Mthuli. Thank me later Emmerson.

I
hear a lot of people saying we were better off under the white man’s rule but
Mapombi respectfully differ. Ava veganda jena are the worst people to even
admire. Dear black people, a white man will never like you and will never be
your equal. A white man may pretend to like you but to them you will always be
monkeys. Get that into your minds you people. Mnangagwa and his team have
failed us yes but never ever wish the white man was better. We have to liberate
ourselves from Zanu PF’s greediness and thievery. This is the only problem we
have found ourselves in. Zvenyu zvekuchemera varungu handidi kana kuzvinzwa.
Our fathers suffered under the white man’s rule which is why they decided to
take up arms against them. A lot of people died and we remember them as we
commemorate Heroes Day. Unfortunately Zanu PF lost the plot. They feel this
country is theirs and they can do whatever they want. If we stop corruption I
can bet my last rotten banana that Africa will be a jewel. We will make this
country and continent free and beautiful. We will create better opportunities
for everyone.  We have the human
resources to develop Africa but in the promise of better things, brutes have
risen to power. They kill and torture their people. Freedom of expression has
been criminalised. Soldiers have been unleashed on innocent civilians. A
difference in opinion is labelled a dark force or a terrorist by ED and his
goons. Our generation is too cowardly to confront this enemy and our only hope
is Covid-19. Famba corona tiyambuke kkkk.

Mnangagwa
and his Zanu PF should know that there is God in heaven. You may have guns
protecting you but when the messenger of death visits you, no gun or soldier
will save you. When Covid-19 comes, no amount of fire power will save you.
Famba corona tiyambuke. Shiri never thought he would die one day but he died of
Covid-19, at least that’s what we have been told or made to believe. What
killed him does not matter but what is important is that he died and he will
not be missed. What he did during the liberation struggle was heroic but he
lost the plot and turned his guns on his people during what became known as the
moment of madness. For that we say good riddance. May God do you justice Cde
Shiri. We hope Covid-19 will send many of your comrades wherever you are. Dear
God please spare the innocent civilians from the jaws of Covid but unleash the
full wrath of this pandemic on our tormentors. Zimbabwean lives matter Cdes.
Kana zvikarema ndoita nharo dzaMalema kkkk. But muchinda uya anonzi Malema is a
hot head chaiyo. He is fighting our struggle across the Limpopo and we are very
grateful. But Zimbabweans are so foolish sometimes. We are very good at
keyboard activism. Zimbabwean lives matter yes but social media will not bring
the change we need. Malema may stand with us but he will not deliver the change
we seek. Mnangagwa will not lose sleep over a hashtag on Twitter. Mr President
musavhundutswa neTwitter henyu imi. Nyatsai kuti zete zvenyu pachigaro chenyu
chinoera. It is not well within Zanu PF but our people fail to exploit this
weakness. There is a cold war brewing in Zanu PF and its getting warmer.
Ikozvino Chiwenga dzakaitwa minister of health kkkk what a joke.

What
does Chiwenga know about health? Hydroxychloroquine anoizva here Chiwenga. Asi
ED usadaro uri munhu wekuziva. Chiwenga may be your rival but there was no need
to expose him like that. Why the health ministry? Do you want him to fail so
that we blame him for what’s coming because Covid-19 haisati yatanga nesu. The
health sector has deteriorated and you decided to send someone whose health is
worse to lead such a critical ministry under this prevailing situation. I hear
vamwe vachiti Chiwenga dzine doctorate refashion and fabrics kkkkk musadaro imi
vanhu, respect the former general. To all nurses and doctors, hokoyo nenhamo.
This is the man who said you are skilled rebharazi and he will not hesitate to
hire and fire you if you are found wanting. I bet ED send Chiwenga to be on the
frontline of this Covid situation so that Covid will deal with him. Remember
Covid haitambisi those with underlying conditions and Chiwenga has plenty kkkk.
I am yet to see anyone in Zanu PF asina an underlying condition so watch out. I
have said enough regai ndinokanga maputi angu for lunch but before I go I would
like to welcome back chikomana Chamisa from leave. Chakambochema mai vacho
chikomana ichi and now he is back just like Mapombi. I hope Chamisa has had
time to think of strategies to deal with Zanu PF during his sabbatical. Mboko
imboko.

 

 

 

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TellZim News is the leading news organization in the Southern region. It provides candid, balanced and timely news from the communities. Keeping it real. Committed to tell Zimbabwe.

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