Ladies and gentlemen, these days I am lying low because you never know, unogona kungovatamo. The state machinery is well-greased these days no one is safe, zvokwadi unoswera wanzi you are a regime change agent. Seni who will bring me machicken inn kujeri sevamwe veHarare uko, kana mabanana akaora zvawo. All those who talk too much like me are being targeted hama dzangu, and pakatoipa, bva achazara majeri. There are some things that this government is not even attempting to learn to do better, especially when it comes to embarrassing itself. Vaenzi vouya vana vose vari muzvizarira here nhai veduwe? Zvekunyadzisa pane vaenzi Regerai Vakomana.Munasvodawo imi please. With each dawning day, Baba Two and crew find a reason to frustrate citizens, further pushing them to the edge, muri vana Mwari here imi? What I do not understand however is the thought process behind all these arrests, because if it’s the image that they want to protect, don’t they think it’s even worse cracking down on voices of dissent, which in any case will be published everywhere by all and sundry? Agonyarara Hopewero zvekusungwa kwevanhu? Again, it’s only further feeding the narrative of what the country is known for, mahuman rights abuses and being ruthless. The vultures will be waiting for moments like these, and zvinosvota kuti isu matrue patriotic citizens who actually care about Zimbabwe tinongobatanidzirwa mukushorwa imomo, tingori vanhu vekunyika kunosungwa matourist. During the past few weeks, pana sisi vekuAmerica vanoita zvemadrama vanozikanwa chaizvo vanonzi Tiffany Haddish who was in the country, busy being surprised that we have grocery stores muZimbabwe. She was fascinated vapinda mustoro vachiona organic food, and it’s clear that she used to think kuti tichiri kuita barter trade kumariketi aya ekare aya. If that does not embarrass you as a Zimbabwean then I don’t know what will. Zvosvodesa zviya, and we do not have the capacity to fight back or beat the allegations while we are busy arresting tourists on trumped up charges. Kungotaura kuti hakuna magetsi nemvura ndakonewa kugera ndebvu dzangu, zvotonzi henaroo, huyai pano, mune mhosva baba. Masvingo yakatoiswawo pamap nenyaya yekusungwa kwemunhu wekuCzech uko, munoti who will care that we have the world-renowned Great Zimbabwe Monuments pakadai? If anything, those who claim to be patriotic ndovasitori because vanotisekesa, imi maZanu, ndati hamusi patriotic, kana matsamwa ndogara pazasi pepaChitima apoo. At this rate we shall forever remain a laughing stock, apa tichiti we were breathing a sigh of relief from that era where everyone was a trillionnaire makore aBhobho. Banana Republic of note. Musatidaro hama dzangu because even those who went to the diaspora nemaCOS anongorehwa aya havana kana chiremerera, zvongonzi vanhu vekukanyika kaya, even though we have a lot to offer, iyezvino our boys got into Olympics finals vakazosara havo. Bva Joji takaguta naye ungati he is the best father of the year apa he was known for boxing his wife, kkkkk. Dr Gire vamboripikoo, she is the one vaigona kutivhurira mafaira pamusoro paJoji zvakanaka naka, handiti vaimbopakura tea vose kumisangano mikuru? Asi Dr Amai paiva nebasavo paya.
Ko nhaimi, what is happening kumusangano wekuwandira kumasero uyu? Yes, a lot happens there everyday but it seems like a different wind is blowing. Generari Mkwenyana is now coming out of the thickets like a cat which has many lives. Hanzi zvemafactions regerai vakomana. He didn’t mince his words when he said musangano haukwani muhomwe memunhu. If my memory serves me well, those words haangobudi from the mouth of someone who is in Zanu’s top leadership, something is brewing. Vana madokudya tovaziva, vanenge vave kutoti ngavatonge kusvika vave muwheelchair, we saw it with Mugabe, but hanzi naGenarari Chandaizment hoo makasa, musangano wakasimbira muconstitution. I am just very keen on seeing how Generari will use the constitution to assert his position, or takaenda takaenda kunaNovember 2017. I digress, does anyone notice kuti whenever Genarari Kedha speaks there is some militancy in his tone that just sends shivers through the spine? Kamwe kaauthority so that you don’t see elsewhere? Maybe ndini hangu but I actually think that man mmm, bhasopo loinja, in a fascinating way though, because it sounds as if he has the game plan right in his pocket. Hanzi naGuvheya loyalty should be to the party, not to an individual, vana Mai Welly nanaBaba Nyengu. He said Chiwenga will come and go, whatever that meant, kuitira vaya mabootlicker who were already running mad mobilising support to a mandate that had already been rejected nemuridzi ED wacho. Time time you are the ones vanofurira imi vekumasero imimi because we see you copying Mugabe’s playbook, zvanaendorsement chakuti izvozvi. Maybe Baba Two was genuinely not interested in the 2030 agenda, because he knows it will not go unchallenged, makutovakonanisa naGuvheya paya. I know you are afraid of facing what happened to maG40 when Bhobho was deposed, because murikuba nekuvhura hombe mukati umu, but manje seapa, Genarari varikutodawo, so poitwa sei? If I was muZanu I would very wisely find a way to align myself kwandinoona kunogona kubuda tsoro iri nani, but then again, tinenge takangofanana vuno zasi, vanenge vasingatoziviwo zviri kuitika mukati kati meJongwe House. Mofunga sekuti Guvheya will be happy kudadirwa nevanhu vaakabatsira kupinda panyanga after vadzingwa mabasa nemashefu avo? Panotoda treading carefully apa, chero zvazvo isu maZimba chaiwo chaiwo we know kuti ndozvimwe gudo nemunhu, we can only celebrate the drama when it happens not kufarira n’anga tichiti mudzimu. Once bitten twice shy. I am just waiting hangu to see if this time we will still have the tankers rolling in the streets, like that proverbial November day, tombonzwawo mweya wehuChimbwido mbwido so,kkkkkk. Ahh ko paya ndaitonzwa kunge gandanga rabva musangozve kunonyisa mabhunu 1980, but nhamo ndoyakazongondirangaridza zhira yekwangu kuChitima ndikanokweva zvimachira zvangu zvemutowenyemba mushanga maMucheke. Taiva tatizve nhamo off, shift focus, Ba Bona zvavazorodzwa, kkkk. Baba Two vakati pachipo hama dzangu, dzikamai. Ko nhai VaMavhaire kubva vanyarara kudaro? Kuti zii sevasiko havo. Chete vagoidii vachingoitiswa nanaNero.
Back to the General, he might not be a better devil like we have seen with his boss; remember when he called our doctors skilled rebharas for demanding better working conditions. Manje manje apa he threatened kuremadza mamoney changer. I am just thinking zvangu kuti he is always the face of threats and violence, and believe me you, ED knows that. Ndopamunoti alternative ipapo, hameno zvenyu. Chakatanga ndochakachenjedza, bva tinogonzwa here?
Anyway, let me go ndinokanga maputi angu zvangu for lunch ndimwe mvura, these days kwaakupisa. Please drive safely this holiday, zvamurimi mugofarisa, maambulance aya endege hakuna, haatakuri vasingadyi bacon pabreakfast everyday. But ndasuwa Senator Tshabangu guys, I hope wherever he is, he will have a great holiday with a few Zanu cdes, vasamusiyawo kumastadium kunonodyiwa kuya paHeroes. And when you see former VP Mphoko, tell him kuti Mkwenyana means business, project dzenhiyo dziya ngadzigarire padhuze they may be needed soon. Until next week, mboko imboko!
