Bye-bye ED bye-bye; 2030 ED anenge asiko!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mapombi is amazed by how fast things are moving. It reminds me of this movie called Fast and Furious – I know most of you might not have gotten chance to watch it because of the persistent power cuts but haaa movie yakapenga iyoyo. The way things are happening in Zimbabwe ka I can easily relate to this movie- it’s fast and furious!
I will quickly take you through some of the events to where we are now. Mapombi is pretty sure that you have heard about the Chivhayo issue where he claimed that he captured ED kuti dzvii. The claim caused a lot of tension within the rank and file, cdes, with some vachitosheedzera kuti ngaende ngaende naChivhayo wake. After that we witnessed Mpofu and Chimombe being punished, right? Do you think they are behind bars because of corruption? Kkkkkk forget it- the truth is they are there because they exposed kuti Chivhayo akabata chinhu kuti dzvii. How can they expose kuti ari mukati kati mechinhu akachibata kuti dzvii? Clearly that was exposing ED so they have to face the music.
Mapombi also want to tell another reason why vana Chimombe vari pashinyasi kkkkkk lower your ears cdes – im told they were given tender to buy chemicals to spray and kill birds so that wheat raMudhara haridyiwe, and guess what they did? Vakomana vakatenga mushonga mushoma shoma and mixed with of lots water and then sprayed. Kkkkkkk and the birds did not die at all kkkkk hanzi dzakaramba kufa apa dzanga dzava kudya wheat zvekuti and Mudhara vakatsamwa rough kkkkk.
Anyways, did you hear the unfortunate events that happened at deputy minister Kuda Mnangagwa’s Borrowdale House? The house caught fire under mysterious circumstances, and Mapombi heard that Kuda akawana apaDoor repa bedroom pakaiswa some live bullets. Yes, live bullets at the bedroom door. Isn’t that scary cdes, kkkkk but the script seems familiar handiti?
The next event was the Army Commander Sanyatwe bragging that Zanu PF will rule forever. Zanu PF will rule forever and those who want to disturb or stop it will be sidelined. Most people think that Sanyatwe was referring to the opposition but haaa Mapombi can tell you that the message was directed to a faction within Zanu PF and that faction is aligned to ED. Mind you ED is not Zanu PF so the liberation party will rule forever even without ED.
Mapombi suspects a lot of events happened in the past few days which led ED to announce that he is serving his last term when he addressed people in Manicaland. Hanzi naED ndava kuenda this is my last term and I’m stepping down at the next Zanu PF congress to pave way for the next leader kkkkkk munoti zviri zvega imi? The Army had spoken kkkk.
I know you will say Mapombi anotaurisa but uummmm hazvisi zvega izvi. The way the slogan 2030 vaMnangagwa vanenge vachipo vachitonga was being chanted so ka ED aripo achitogutsirira musoro and the sudden change of events haaa zvinondirangaridza November 2017 izvi. A lot has happened behind the scenes and probably ED was forced to say what he said in Manicaland kuti I’m stepping down at the next congress to pave way for a new leader.
Now that ED himself announced that he is stepping down at the nest congress toda kunzwa kuti vana Owen Mudha Ncube vachati kudii manje kkkkkk Mapombi akambozvitaura kuti dzungu hakusi kungwara. And Masvingo province dzungu munoriwanzawo too much.
But very soon we are likely to see more than one centre of power as party supporters try to align and dear themselves with the one whom they think will take over from ED. Obviously Chiwenga is the best foot forward, and I’m sure the army is rallying behind him. Kembo Mohadi might want to try his luck as well but haaaa Mr I can’t has some sex scandals plus health wise zvavakurema. There might be new names emerging – Mapombi has heard about Tagwirei, Kasukuwere and of course the silent PV, YES Valerio Sibanda is also in the equation and many others.
Anyways, for now let mapombi not worry about who is likely to replace ED, instead let me celebrate kuti vava kuenda kuKwekwe manje manje kundorima because he failed dismally to solve the economic crisis. In fact corruption increased during his term, many opposition supporters were arrested during his term, inflation and many other vices. There is very little to write home about his term and many would want to quickly forget about his term save for those who surrounded him.
If Morgan Tsvangirai was still alive (MHSRIP), we would wave our open palms in the air tichiti; ‘Bye-bye ED bye-bye; bye-bye Mnangagwa bye-bye, bye-bye ED bye-bye’. I miss Morgan – the finest politician of our time. Yes, he is my hero. He stabilized the economy during the inclusive government. Many people managed to buy cars, built houses and started businesses during the inclusive government period all thanks to Tsvangirai.
Zanu PF had failed in 2008; there was no economy to talk about; no food in shops, no currency, no everything. Nyika yakanga yaparara chaiko but Tsvangirai changed things in no time and everyone remembers the good memories. ED failed and we are looking forward to the next leader – chero vakatonga for life Mapombi handimbokendenga as long as leaders achichinja kuchimbouyawo vamwe probably one day we will find someone who will stabilize the economy.
It’s lunch time guys let me go ndindokanga zvangu Maputi angu for lunch. These days the weather is chilling so bananas haawore zvekumhanya saka ndotongoita zvemaputi iwaya. But I never thought a learned woman like me would live as a destitute like this. My parents sent me to school but the Zanu PF corruption and maladministration ndiyo yakandisvitsa pandiri apa. I never thought I will survive on rotten bananas and maputi like this – better aende hake timboedza Chiwenga iyeye kana zvaramba toiedzazve Valerio Sibanda tichingodaro ko handiti Sanyatwe wakati ichatonga for life. After PV iye Sanyatwe will be in line kkkk.
I think Sanyatwe needs to know that tinotodawo kutongwa neZanu isu vana Mapombi, takafa kare because we gave up on life Mugabe achiri mupenyu. We have seen vana Nyikayaramba vachingotaura same language seiyoyi but vakangofa vakatisiya tichingotongwa neZanu yacho so we don’t care much about that. Ndimi mungatourayana muchirwira zvigaro and as for me as long as I get maputi and some rotten bananas manake. I don’t have and I can’t afford to but even a pant but I don’t care. I died for this country long ago.
Before I go, let me chant the slogan one more time – ‘Bye-bye ED bye-bye, bye-bye Mnangagwa bye-bye kkkkk zvakanotonakidza kaSlogan kacho. Anyways those aligned to ED chidyai kekupedzesera tigouyawo isu vaGenerari Kedha kkkkkkk. Anenge aonawo WC muti hanzi chibai kekupedzisira baba vachipo kkkk. Ko Mphoko ke, where is he? Mboko Imboko!!!