Missing $15 billion and poor Zimbabweans

Who can victimise Mapombi for being a prophet only once per year when everyone has become a prophet in one way or another? 

I have heard that some people are making a lot of money for just telling us that so and so is going to die before winter or just telling us that someone somewhere is very angry. Kkk yes at some point someone somewhere can be angry at any given time. But gentlemen, this prophesy is going to pass, and once that happens, I will plant my church right at the centre of the Chitima Dr Grace Trading Flea Market. 

I predict that this country will be closed before December – ehe kuvharwa chaiko kuti hakuchina chinonzi Zimbabwe because things are getting tough by the day. I can tell you that all the people who are passing through the flea market are always complaining.  There is no new story that you hear besides kungonzwa vanhu vachiti hey zvinhu zvaoma! No one is saying any positive comments about the government, kungotuka chete or just saying something evil about mudhara wenyu uyu or Dr Amai (PhD). 

Some were saying vakadzi vedu vapera panechimwe chiprivate clinic ichi chemutown chinoshandisa fake doctors who have fake qualifications from Blantyre while mudhara and his wife sent their daughter to the East to deliver – they no longer trust everything that happens here. 

Kkkk akazondipedza ndeumwe akati don’t you think these guys go out of the country kuenda kutoilet chaiko kkkk they might no longer trust even our sewer system – for everything they fly to Dubai, China or Singapore. 

Ko kutyei, mungatya kudya yemarema kkk, isu vana Mapombi takatozvipira kugara musango for we have completely failed to secure accommodation in town. We are now surviving on rotten bananas.

Hey but this week chando chakandirova musi wa 1 May to the extent that I almost thought that going back kumusha would be far better but ndonodya ivhu here ikoko because even rotten bananas hakuna. Things can be tough, kkk haiwavo I was comforted by the fact that takapedzisira tangowanda mustreet this week maticha aidawo mari plus haiwa munhu here iyeye aida cash mutown umu and I heard there was nothing in banks.

But maZimbo makapenga, kekeke kuseka nhamo serugare, ndibatei – shake me hands because you are a rare breed. Look at how Zuma is being roasted over a few million dollars but you remain silent muchikuzvurana in queues fighting to get some few notes mubank apa monyimwa zvohi hakuna mari when some few probably less than five people are enjoying your 15 billion dollars.

The President and all his cabinet must therefore resign if they fail to give us the culprits but haiwawo ungaudzaani? Our leaders and our poor Zimbabweans – iiyi zvakangofanana gudo nemunhu – kudyirwa makatarisa. Regai zvedu tinyarare mungazoti I speak too much. We need US$ 2 billion kuti tigadzire road irikuuraya vanhu everyday – Harare to Masvingo and one person pockets all the money and no one questions except chedu Morgan – chematama. Munongoti chematama but chine zvose matama nenjere chiya because at least he is demanding his money – haungadyi mari iya uri one mapedza moenda kunopemha mari and when we question you then tell us kuti ma sanctions. Kkk vakomana musatidaro so, takapusa zvedu but maifanirawo kuita muchinyara vamwe.

I heard some people vaifamba vachidarika nekwangu uko kwandino kushita uko – hanzi Mnangagwa akaita zvokutoenda nendege kurufu kwaChivi? Ndakati honaiwo – of course he can’t risk his life driving in pot hole ridden Zimbabwean roads, in fact for him, KwaChivi hakuna road regai aite zvendege but imi mirai zvenyu muma queue mari ichanaya kubva kudenga kkkk at least I don’t have a bank account ndirinane.

Ndakazonzwawo mumwe hanzi aah Mapombi chiya chinopenga but chinoonera madhiri manje because hey chinotaura wena. Yes I speak and I shall speak although I know kuti vanhu vacho havachatsiuriki, they are now beyond that since they have become some gods in their own rights. Ko ungatsiura Mwari here? 

Munozoti ndotaurisa, regai ndimbonononga chibage chandaona charasikira panjanji apo ndizokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch.

Please mukadarika nekwa Chirimudombo muvaudze kuti Mapombi Adonha takamuona asi ari kukanga waya!

Mboko imboko !!mapombi