Pamberi naNgwena maCdes!

Something must be very wrong Cdes! I mean there is something wrong in the manner this country is being run. The Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of Zimbabwe Private (Pvt) Limited (Ltd) must be very incompetent and LAZY. E-eh private Limited company ndiyo cheteka yekuti the owner cannot be fired zvekumhanya. CEO anotonga kusvika aneta akada kupa mwana kana mukadzi kuti ambotongawo ndiye kutyei iri private company – it’s a family business ka!

But I was bored recently; someone awakened me from a deep sleep kwedu kwaDr Grace Trading Centre uko ndakarara zvangu mumaplastic. The person was playing some music and the sound was very loud. But I ended up enjoying one of the songs from Alick Macheso yekuti ‘Zvawaita zvandirangaridza chegore riye’. I laughed lungs out as I started to visualize some of the scenes involving our war veterans that occurred in Harare during the past few months. Kkkkkkkk kudirwa mvura inososona here akomana kkkkk WAR VETERANS?

President Robert Mugabe havaitirwe demonstration zvekumanya maCdes kkkkk. Musandirangaridze chegore riye akomana varume vakuru kumhanyiswa senge pwere; kuita senge musinawo kurwira nyika ino? Kkkkkk the only marches and demonstrations that are accepted are for the President and not against the President. Eheka mukaita million-man march to prop up support for President or demo against the Western hamuchione. Not against the CEO kkkkkkk munofarisa maCdes.

And Mapombi heard some of the war veterans were labelled dissidents last week. Dissidents! O-oh yes dissidents – and Mapombi is very sure you know what this means Cdes; watch out for Gukurahundi Part 2.  By the way is it Part 2 or 3? Ko paye painzi Morgan Tsvangirai kakadashurwa yaive Part aniko iye?

Mugabe’s uncouth and reckless statement should be condemned by all strongest possible terms – kuti rangaridza gukurahundi hatichada! Refering our Cdes who fought and died for this country as dissents is unpardonable. Mapombi as an unbeatable record of being a real gentleman – handivanzi ini! The CEO’s utterances were not acceptable to say the least.

But Mapombi heard something – hanzi there are some places somewhere in Singapore, India and China where one can go for brain sharpening. Ko hakunawo here kunoitiwa zve anti-ageing vakomana? If there is any place for such maiendawoka nana gogo Shuvai Mahofa and company because zvimwe zvava kutaurwa izvi hazvisisina maturo. Kkkkkk please get me right, I said gogo Shuvai and company, not otherwise. Priz priz get that right or else Mapombi will be in serious trouble with those guys who wear cheap nylon suits and dark glasses.

Mapombi is blunt sometimes – anobaya dede nemumukanwa chaimo. This country needs overhaul – we now need a new CEO or else the company should be placed under Judicial management. We all know kuti Garwe haridye chebamba asi apa rikatadza rinofa nenzara nekuti hapana chinouya neronga apa. We have been trying the same formulae to solve the economic equation for the past 36 years but, alas, we have failed. In 1980 there were fewer potholes than today; our money had value but today we have no currency kkkkkkk haa yaa Zanu PF yambotionesa chitsvuku vakomana. Hanzi Bond what? Bond coins, Notes?  Mapombi heard the maximum daily withdrawal for individuals is now $100? Kkkkk zvakaoma hazvo. Isu hedu vana Mapombi hatina Mabank accounts but hama dzeduwo dzinozotipawo rotten bananas ndodzatinonzwirawo tsitsi.

Anyway, Mapombi is impressed by the war vets – hatidzore tsvimbo nekuti gudo rabata kumeso maCdes! The company (Zimbabwe) is facing liquidation and the CEO should handover the button to his immediate junior – chinhu ngachimbopiwawo garwe vakomana! Kkkk but Mapombi like the courage ine mawar vets this time around – they were labelled dissidents and threatened to be crushed like ‘cockroaches’   but havatombovhunduke. Ngwena yakarindira chitanda ichi for quite some time and to evade him simply because Mukaranga hazvichaita! Ko iwo Mazezuru ndiwo akaita seiko? Should the Makaranga, Ndebeles, Tonga, Korekore, Manyika, Shangani and Venda leave this country and find somewhere to stay so that the ‘unconquerable Zezurus can remain vachitonga? Haa izvi zvazonyanya izvi. Ngwena ngaimbopiwawo chitanda zvoendawo kuManyika nekumaNdebele zvichingotenderera. After all, we all fought for this country – I mean all the tribes. So no tribe should be dominant over others.

Mapombi is a gentleman haavanzi – war vets vanoda kupiwa sando apa. Speak up your mind Cdes! Ngwena kuvanhu! Ahh it’s almost lunch time, let me end hear lest I will be accused of yep yepping. Regai ndindokanga hangu maputi angu for lunch. But nzara tanzwa vakomana even rotten bananas are hard to come by kuno kwaDr Grace Trading Centre. 

Kkkkk life sometimes so ka ma1 – ndiri kutonetseka kutsvaga mabananas akaora but Mphoko has been staying in hotel since appointment. Kkkkk haya gore munhu achigara muhotera ndokutongaka uku? Imbotai asi zivai kuti mufaro mwena ukautevedza unoguma. Mboko imboko!!!!Mapombi