US$2 bhidza vs PVO Bill: make it work

Ladies and gentlemen I hope you had a wonderful Easter holiday, also hoping you prayed for your dear sister Mapombi kumaPaseka uko. My Easter was nothing eventful, ko taingotenderera zvedu paChitima tichitsvaga mabanana akaora nekuokera economy yenyika ichiita senge seatbelt remumota, kkkkk, ukaita zvenharo haurisungi, harifambi. Unotodzikama wonyatsodhonza mushe, not what we are witnessing in our teapot-shaped country izvi where the economy is being played like ball. At least vakuru vakazobvuma havo just after the holiday kuti zhara yegore rino icharidza muridzo without mincing his words despite the Minister of hunger, ah I mean Agriculture uyu Jongwe Masuka being the best Minister in the country kabanga neAfrica yese kkk. There are some instances ka dzaunoona kuti propaganda has short legs and will not carry you far, then you come back to reality. Nomatter how sweet, believable or sophisticated propaganda can be, hadzibikwe mupoto, nyika inenge ichingoti we want jena muponesi, especially kwamakanyanyovhoterwa kumamisha uko, jembi is what makes their world go round. Ask me what I witnessed paMucheke stadium once upon a rally, matrucks anga auya kuzonyengedzera vanhu kuti vagare until rally is over akalootwa takayeva, chembere kukwinya mazambia kujambira mutruck to snatch zvitsapo zvehupfu. That tsumo that says chembere masikati yakashonyororwa when it was time to do zvesadza, that’s how critical it is to feed the nation. This time you will see that the majority of the people who vote for you vanadumbuzenene are all about food; trust me when I say this, those people would even choose to have food without vote, and indeed you may think they are not materialistic but in actual fact they are. Chazongosiyana hacho is the material, otherwise mbeu nemabagwe aya amunovapa ndozvamunodirwa. Hanzi naED we require 2 bhidza, mari chaiyo chaiyo mayuwesi kwete maZig Zag arikutaurwa aya, because we are in a state of national disaster because of the El Nino induced drought that caused poor yields.
Now, what is ironic in this whole situation is how exactly our government is going to come up with those billions, with how the leadership is recklessly splashing the resources. Haa zvokwadi unongoona kuti imba yacho yakasimuka nemapango. To our bemusement, soon after that national address yaED, we saw hurumende yakutodonater kuPalestine uko, kunokora imomo musina chinhu just for grandstanding on the international scene. On top of that, vana dumbuzenene are also pushing for the PVO Amendment Bill to be made into law, kamutemo kamunongoziva mese kuti it will scare away the necessary helpers. Sometimes I am tempted to think that our leadership is delusional to say the least, and they think kuti ivo when they wake up pamatable avo pane bacon and eggs, things are actually ok in the country. Millions of Zimbabwean are already struggling to put food on the table, but what we are witnessing is a series of bad decisions. How does it help kunzi makapenga kunze uko when people in your backyard are suffering? We are all waiting to see how government is going to raise the 2 bhidza, with such an appetite to interfere kumaNGOs uko, which is very obvious kuti they just want yet another opportunity to loot. Regai Fadzi Mahere achizoti tiri kutongwa nembavha because it is just not making sense. On second thoughts, it’s barely two months when Masuka was called papodium sechanana naBaba maTwins paMushagashe to give testimony yekuti kune goho gore rino, what happened to all that grain? The bottom line is zhara iriko, and if they had an iota of shame within themselves, vakuru vaimboita shelve that PVO Amendment Bill, mabillion ekufeeder vanhu owanikwa, vanhu vorarama. You will still need people in 2030, ehe ipapo pacho pamunenge muchipo, isu vanosvotwa tichingorutsa like what your new slogan says. Povo should come first, and if not, munongoziva zhara zvainoitisa vanhu imi. Inovhura vanhu meso kana musingazivi. We will discuss how you came up with the US$2 billion some other time, but for now, at least show some proactive movements to get to that target. Zvingaita here kuti mai vanokweretesa vemuraini hupfu vavo vana vachivata nayo? Zvenyu zvekuswerozhambatata hee regime change, hee this that is nonsense, because these NGOs cover a big gap when it comes to food aid, which you will require as a matter of urgency. We know that you are cruel and ruthless, but on this one, for once do the right thing. Yes, I agree, illicit financial flows are there to justify the PVO Amendment Bill, but zvamungori imizve vari kuita corruption yacho nhandi. Inga ndimi muri kungoba goridhe racho wani, and on top of it you gaslight the poor majority saying kana tichida goridhe we should go mine it. Hanzi mese itai makorokoza mugoita saScott Sakupwanya, the gold man. Ahh, inga time flies veduwe, its already a year since the Gold Mafia came out, and we seem to have gone full circle because tadzokazve pagoridhe payaa. Nhai Panoshupa Mangundya, all that gold raiunzwa neBetter Brands yaScott rakaindepi because we saw Baba Two being shown kakabati kanenge kambuya vangu kwaChirimudombo ne1.5 tonnes gold nasazita wako Jonso Mushayavanhu. Chokwadi varume vakuru kundenderedzana kunotaridzana svimbasera svegold isvosvo, where is the rest? Hee gold backed what what, gold-backed nonsense! What are you going to back the structured currency with? Kutatamuka tsinga shuwa calling Zim currency the strongest in the region, compared to what? Infact, which exact currency are we even talking about apa? We have lost track, we have seen it all, and we know the way the new Ziggy Mari will go. Don’t call me a naysayer, who does not know how things like this go in this country? Even if vakapika namai vavo kuti it will work, no it will not work, you will work. Just call it propaganda-backed currency tifambirane, because we know what it is. No amount of fake charisma or jargon will save the economy until you stop chasing mosquitos with machine guns while monsters abound. Kutobhoekana hangu kuti they could have done better padesign yaro ZiG racho because this one is giving us PTSD yerimwe bearer rerimwe gore so ranga rakashata shata richiita kunge zvibepa zveshebert uku pasina charinotenga, and it was that one rekubviswa mazero, those who were there nguva yacho know it. Zvobatsirei kuita mari yakashata uku isingatengi? They should have taken design yeuya artist yemaJava iya, maybe taizongoichengeterawo zvimacolours izvozvo. The bond notes acho they were ugly futi, kunge richasutswa ririmo mupocket apa haritengi kkkkk. Like I said earlier, I think being made RBZ governor is being set up for failure, because you are made to do and announce ridiculous things. Kuzviyanika chaiko. I believe there is no coming back in terms of reputation once one sits on that position. VaMushayavanhu vakakurirwa netreasury dzeprovince kuZanu in Masvingo, havo nhasi vakubatiswa zvinopisa. Let’s see where he goes with inheriting empty cupboards. Vakati regai ndisvuure musvuu semubiyangu Gideon Gono tigadzire mari tsva, kkkkk, ini hangu ini.
When all is said and done however, just know kuti chembere dzekwaChivi nekuUzumba Marambakufunga dzichada sadza, and muchaita plan henyu. Zvekuti murikupa vanaDhege mota izvo ratove drama. You can’t dance to Mai Welly for long on an empty stomach, zhara haisi blaz vemunhu. Kkk but on a lighter note, mukati this currency haina kunzi Zig to shorten amai vaya vekutamba vakapiwa Akwa kkk. Vanawoka vaya. Chiororo ndicho tsepete tsepete inoda wambomedza misuva one or two. I heard Sir Wicky took it a notch higher vakadonater million to ZCC kuMbungo paEaster apa, maybe vachanunura nyika sezvo varivo varidzi vemari yekuba iyi. I saw him vachibuda mundege yemukuru wenyika paMutendi apa, ko dzinonhanzvana dzine mafutazve, literally.
PaBikita apo murikuitana sei nhai Cde Mutodi, hanzi there is growing disgruntlement against you, kana zvanetsa dzokerai kuRhumba zvenyu imi, zvakubhadhara zvemusic izvi, cars are falling like confetti in that industry.
Let me go ndinokanga maputi angu for lunch zvangu, while opening my eyes maybe ndingangonhonga one ZiG ndikatenga mabanana asina kuora. But before I go, please if you see VaMphoko tell him kuti honaiwo zvoitwa nyika iya imi maG40 muripo. Mboko imboko!